The Right Kind Of Wrong
by Slayer88
Summary: Angel is the absolute wrong person for Buffy, but she can't get enough of him. Major AU! ***COMPLETE***
1. A New Home

"Here it is," Buffy's father, Rupert, said as he opened the doors to her new home  
  
in Sunneydale.  
  
"It looks cozy," she responded. The house was neatly kept, though the  
  
rooms were small.  
  
"Let me give you the tour," he said as he stepped through the doorway  
  
and put her bags in the hallway.  
  
Buffy walked in and closed the door behind her. Together they walked down the hall to the nearest room.  
  
"This is the kitchen."  
  
It had a small refrigerator/freezer and a stove. There was a Microwave and a toasteroven sitting on the counter. They continued down the hall.  
  
"This is my room," Rupert said as he closed the door. "It's pretty messy right now."  
  
They walked on.  
  
"And this is your room."  
  
Buffy walked in to the room. The wallpaper was green and white striped.  
  
There was a double bed with nightstand sitting next to it. The nightstand was barren  
  
except for the framed picture of her and her mother. She picked it up and looked into the  
  
glossy photo. Her mother's wavy blond hair was shiny and wind swept. She was wearing  
  
a sun dress. At the time the photo was taken Buffy was eight. They were standing in a  
  
meadow near an oak tree. Buffy found herself fighting tears as she put the picture down.  
  
"I'm going to bring in your bags. Then would you like something to eat?"  
  
Buffy looked up. "No thanks, Daddy. I had dinner on the plane. I'm kind of tired. I thought I would unpack my clothes and go to bed."  
  
"That's probably a good idea. You have a long day ahead of you." Rupert said as he closed the door.  
  
Buffy walked down the hall to her first period. The day hadn't even started and  
  
she was already lost. Students rushed past her, knowing they would be late for class.  
  
"You look lost," a redhead in a cheerleading outfit, said.  
  
"You could say that," Buffy smiled.  
  
"I'm Willow," the redhead said.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"What room number are you looking  
  
for?"  
  
"418." Buffy showed her the pink piece of paper that had her schedule written on  
  
it." Willow smiled.  
  
"That's where I'm going," She said.  
  
Together they made their way down the hallway.  
  
"Where are you from?"  
  
"LA."  
  
"Oh my God! That must have been the best. I would do anything to live in LA! Why did you move to Sunneydale?"  
  
"My dad lives here," Buffy said not wanting to go into detail.  
  
"This is it," Willow said as they approached an open door.  
  
Buffy walked to the front of the room and showed the teacher her schedule.  
  
"Hello, Buffy. I am Ms. Miller. I'm glad to have you join our class."  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"You can have the seat over there." Ms. Miller pointed to an empty seat next to a  
  
dark haired boy listing to a walkman.  
  
When Buffy sat next to him he took his earphones off. "I'm Xander," he said.  
  
"I'm Buffy."  
  
"How's it going?"  
  
Buffy nodded in response then opened her text book to the page that Ms. Miller had written on the chalk board in the front of the room.  
  
The day seemed like it would never end. Finally after the last bell of the day rang  
  
Buffy gathered her books and headed out the door.  
  
"Buffy!" She heard someone call as she was walking down the steps of the school's front entrance. She turned around to find Xander motioning for her to come over.  
  
"Hey Xander! What's up?" She asked.  
  
"I was wondering if you would like to come to The Bronze with me tonight. What do you  
  
say?"  
  
"Xander, it's a school night and I have to finish unpacking. Maybe another time."  
  
Xander pleaded for her to come with his eyes. "Come on, Buff. You know you want to.  
  
It'll be fun," he said as his hand reached behind her and grabbed her ass. Buffy jerked  
  
away.  
  
"I have to go," she said as she walked away hastily, clinging to her books.  
  
"Buffy, I'm glad you're home," her father said as she walked inside her  
  
house. "I would like you to meet your new neighbors."  
  
There were two women sitting on the couch. One looked like she was in her mid-forties and the other was pregnant, but looked no older than Buffy.  
  
"Cordelia, Ms. Chase, this is my daughter Buffy."  
  
She nodded at the pregnant teen and her mother.  
  
"Where are you from?" Ms. Chase asked.  
  
"Los Angeles," Buffy replied.  
  
"How's the smog this time of year?" Cordelia asked with a sassy, sarcastic tone.  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"Well, I would love to stay, but we must go," Ms. Chase said as she stood up.  
  
"It was nice to meet you," Buffy said sweetly as they walked out the door.  
  
"Daddy, I'm going to the Library to study. I'll be back before dinner," Buffy said as she grabbed her books.  
  
"See you later," Rupert said in response as Buffy left.  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC…  
  
  
  
Author's Note: I know this is staring out really slow, but I promise it will get better. 


	2. Cruel Intentions

Buffy found an empty desk and took a seat. She put her books on top of it,  
  
turned the light on, opened her math book and started to work on her homework.  
  
"Is this seat taken?" a tall, handsome man asked as he nodded to the empty chair on the  
  
opposite side of the desk. He looked like he was in his early-twenties  
  
"No, you can have it," Buffy said as she moved her books over to make room for him.  
  
"Thanks," he said as he sat down. "I'm Angel."  
  
"Buffy." She looked back down at her book.  
  
"The Crucible, Arthur Miller. Good book," Angel said.  
  
Buffy looked up. "Yeah, you've read it?" she asked.  
  
"Required reading, twelfth grade, Sunneydale High." He smiled. "So yeah, I've read it."  
  
"What's you favorite part?" Buffy asked with interest.  
  
"The witchcraft."  
  
"Uh huh," she said, unimpressed.  
  
Angel continued, "I like John Proctor. He's good and honest, and yet he's not perfect. He's easy to relate to. I hate when authors make their characters act like Superman. And Abigail, before she came along John was so sure of himself. Then they met and everything changed."  
  
Buffy leaned back in her chair and moved a strand of hair out of her face. "She's so evil though," she said.  
  
"That's only if you choose to make her evil. Almost all her actions have bad consequences. If she has any good in her the reader doesn't get to see much of it. But she's not the only one to blame," Angel paused. "Or maybe everyone else was just at the wrong place at the wrong time."  
  
"You're a lot smarter than you act," Buffy said.  
  
"How do you know that? You just met me."  
  
"I can tell."  
  
"All you know about me is my name and what I think of a book."  
  
"I know that you try and give off the impression that you're not as smart as you really are."  
  
Angel looked at her strangely. "Where did you get that from?"  
  
"When I first asked you what your favorite part of the book was you said 'the witchcraft' you notice I was unimpressed and went into major detail and you sounded intelligent. So, if you're not, you're really good at hiding it."  
  
"You're good."  
  
Buffy smiled. "I know."  
  
  
  
"Well since you know so much about me, I deserve to know a little about you."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like…where do you go to school? What grade are you in?"  
  
"You already know that," she said pointing to her copy of The Crucible.  
  
"Well…how come I've never seen you around before? This is a small town and I know everybody."  
  
"I moved here yesterday."  
  
"Why did you move?"  
  
"My mom died, I came to live with my dad," she said a little bit too fast.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry."  
  
Buffy looked at Angel's watch. "I have to go. I told my dad I would be home twenty minutes ago."  
  
"Do you want a ride?"  
  
"No, thanks. I'll just walk."  
  
"How about I walk you home? That way if I turn out to be some perverted psycho you can always run."  
  
"Deal."  
  
"Buffy!" Willow called to her new friend after first period.  
  
Buffy looked to see who was talking to her. She saw Willow waving for her to come over. Willow was wearing a short black skirt with a red low-cut top and knee-high boots. All of her clothes looked like they were two sizes too small.  
  
"Hey Willow."  
  
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to The Bronze with me tonight."  
  
"The Bronze?"  
  
"It's a club. Everyone hangs there. It would be a great place for you to meet people. Actually, there will be some people that I want to introduce you to."  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You have to come."  
  
"All right, but I have to be home by ten."  
  
"Great! I'll meet you there."  
  
"Wait, Willow!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I don't know where it is," Buffy said pointedly.  
  
Willow took out a piece of paper and scribbled down the address. "Meet me there at eight. It'll be easy to find."  
  
  
  
Willow was right. The Bronze wasn't hard to find. All she had to do was follow the mobs of teenagers and the cars blasting loud music. The hard part was finding Willow. If the cheerleader hadn't waved, Buffy would have been looking in the crowded club for hours.  
  
"Buffy, I want you to meet my friend, Cordelia."  
  
Buffy was shocked to see Xander's arm around her shoulders and his other hand resting on her oversized belly. "We've met. She's my neighbor."  
  
"Nice outfit," Cordelia said.  
  
Buffy looked down at her black knee length skirt, the shortest one she owned, and her white blouse, which was neatly tucked into her skirt. "Thank you," she responded.  
  
Cordelia laughed as Xander pulled her into his lap.  
  
"I'm going to get a drink. You want to come?"  
  
"Okay," Buffy said as she followed Willow and left Xander and Cordelia alone.  
  
"Are they going out?" Buffy asked when they were out of earshot from the smooching couple.  
  
"Sort of," Willow said in response.  
  
"What do you mean sort of?"  
  
"They're fuck buddies. He's the guy who got her knocked up."  
  
"Oh," Buffy said in shocked response.  
  
When they reached the line at the bar Willow turned her attention to the band.  
  
"You ever heard of 'The Dingo's Ate My Baby'?" Willow asked.  
  
"No, is that the band?"  
  
"Yeah, they're pretty big around here."  
  
"Can I get you something?" the woman behind the bar interrupted.  
  
"I'll have a strawberry Margarita with extra salt," Willow turned and looked at Buffy. "What do you want?"  
  
"I'll just have a water."  
  
"Don't they check ID here?" Buffy asked when the waitress disappeared behind the counter to get their drinks.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then how are you getting an alcoholic drink?"  
  
Willow knew she was a good girl, but she didn't know Buffy was this good. "Fake ID. Where in L.A. did you say you were you from?" She thought people from LA knew this kind of stuff.  
  
"Long Beach. Why?"  
  
"Nevermind."  
  
"ID please?" The waitress returned with their drinks. Willow showed her fake ID to the lady and paid for the drinks.  
  
"Hey," Angel said as he approached Cordelia and Xander.  
  
"Hey. What's up?"  
  
Xander and Angel's fists collided in a "guy's handshake."  
  
"Hey," Buffy said when she saw Angel.  
  
He looked up. He was surprised to see her. Xander, Cordelia and Willow didn't seem like the type of people she would hang out with. "Hey."  
  
"You guys know each other?" Willow interrupted.  
  
"Yeah we've met."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"The lib-"  
  
"The park," Angel interrupted before she could tell his friends she met him at the library.  
  
"I promised some people I'd meet them here. I'll be right back," Angel said as he walked off. Buffy sat down and set her drink on the table. When she put her drink down Xander nodded to Cordelia.  
  
"Buffy, will you come to the bathroom with me?" she asked.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Xander, watch my purse," Cordelia said as they walked off.  
  
Once they were out of sight Xander reached into Cordelia's purse and pulled out a small, white tablet. He smiled at Willow and dropped it into Buffy's water.  
  
"Showtime."  
  
  
  
1 hour later:  
  
Buffy walked up the steps to the balcony, where her friends were sitting. "Where's Angel?" she asked.  
  
"He's dancing." Buffy looked down at the dance floor. It took a while for her eyes to focus, but when they did she saw Angel dancing with a blonde who Buffy thought looked a lot like Barbie. She was suddenly overcome with jealously.  
  
"I'll be back in a little while," she said as she stumbled back down the steps.  
  
"Can I cut in?" Buffy asked when she approached Angel and Barbie.  
  
"Sure," the blonde said as she stepped away and went to find someone else to dance with.  
  
Buffy pushed herself against him.  
  
"Oh…Buffy… maybe we should go sit down."  
  
"Why? We just started dancing."  
  
Angel couldn't believe that Buffy, innocent Buffy, was dancing around him… on him like this. He backed away but she followed and pressed her self against him harder.  
  
"You can't handle me?" she asked seductively.  
  
"You're drunk," he said as he removed her hands from his back pockets.  
  
"I don't drink, silly."  
  
If she were any closer she would be on top of him.  
  
"Then someone spiked your drink cause your drunk."  
  
"Angel, shut up," Buffy said as she pulled his head down to hers.  
  
Her lips locked with his as she forced her tongue into his mouth. The kiss was full of hunger and passion. Angel knew he should pull away. It wasn't right, she was drunk and would never be doing any of this is she were sober. He had to admit, even though she was drunk she was a good kisser.  
  
  
  
"He's not going to stop her," Cordelia laughed.  
  
Cordelia, Xander and Willow were all watching from their seats on the balcony.  
  
"She isn't going to remember any of this when she wakes up naked in Angel's bed tomorrow."  
  
Angel forced his lips off of Buffy's.  
  
"Buffy…" Before he could finish what he was saying she started sucking on his neck. He stood there, as her arms wrapped around his waist pulling him as close as she could. Angel forced himself to push her away.  
  
"Let's go upstairs with everyone else."  
  
"I don't want to," she said as she tripped on the first step.  
  
"Are you okay?" Angel kneeled down beside her.  
  
"I think so… you want to kiss me again?"  
  
"We'll see," he said as he helped Buffy to her feet.  
  
He let her lean on him as he helped her up the rest of the stairs. Angel sat Buffy down on the couch next to Willow. As soon as he stepped away, Buffy jumped up and grabbed him by his shirt and attacked him with her mouth. Xander, Cordelia and Willow all clapped as Angel pulled away.  
  
"I'm going to take her home. I'll see you guys tomorrow at my place, right?" He asked.  
  
"We'll be there."  
  
"Later," he said as he helped Buffy down the stairs.  
  
"Angel," Xander called.  
  
"Yeah?" he turned around.  
  
"Have fun tonight." Angel gave Xander a sarcastic smile and half carried Buffy out of The Bronze.  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC… Buffy finds out what really happened when she was wasted. 


	3. A party at Angel's

Buffy woke up with a throbbing headache in a bed that wasn't hers. She guessed it was Angel's. He was sleeping in a chair in the corner of the room.  
  
"Oh God," she mumbled as vague memories of the previous night crashed over her. Her blouse and skirt were wrinkled and covered in sweat. Honestly, she was just happy to have her clothes on. She could remember trying to seduce Angel and then him taking her home. She probably would have had sex with him, if he'd let her. She closed her eyes and brought her hand to her head. Her hair was knotted and greasy. She threw her legs over the side of the bed and slowly tried to stand up. She was overcome with a rush of dizziness and fell to the ground with a thud.  
  
Angel woke up with a jolt at the sound of Buffy's fall. He quickly stood up and helped her to her feet. He practically had to drag her out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where he sat her down at the table. He set a glass in front of her along with five Advil tablets, and filled it with tomato juice.  
  
"Take these and wash them down with the tomato juice," he said as she reached for the glass.  
  
When Buffy took the first sip she gagged at the taste. Angel moved closer to her and held the glass to her lips.  
  
"I know it tastes bad, but it will help you feel better."  
  
"Are hangovers always this bad?"  
  
"Afraid so."  
  
They sat in silence as Buffy finished her glass of tomato juice.  
  
"Can I use your shower?" she asked when she finished.  
  
"Sure. Down the hall to the right."  
  
Buffy slowly stood up and walked to the bathroom. Angel went to his room and picked out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers for her to wear. He tapped lightly on the bathroom door.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I have some clothes for you, if you want me to wash yours."  
  
Buffy opened the door and grabbed the clothes from his hands.  
  
"Thanks." She closed the door and reopened it a moment later.  
  
"Do you have any towels?"  
  
"You can just use the one hanging up in there. It's clean. Just throw your clothes outside the door and I'll pick them up," he said before he turned and left to start cleaning up his apartment.  
  
Forty-five minutes later Buffy emerged out of the bathroom wearing Angel's shirt and boxers. She felt weird wearing someone else's underwear, but it was better than nothing. Angel didn't see her walk into the living room. She leaned against the wall so that he was facing away from her.  
  
"I never would have guessed that you were a neat freak."  
  
Angel jumped.  
  
"You scared me."  
  
"Sorry. Why are you cleaning?"  
  
"I'm having a party tonight. Will you come?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't want to crash or anything."  
  
"You wont."  
  
"Remember what happened the last time I was near alcohol?"  
  
Angel smiled. "I'll watch your drink."  
  
"I'll come if I start to feel a little better, but I can't stay the whole time."  
  
"That's okay."  
  
Buffy looked at Angel's cordless phone resting on its cradle. "Can I use your phone?"  
  
"Go ahead," Angel said as he continued picking up empty beer bottles and plates.  
  
Buffy walked to the phone and dialed a seven-digit number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Daddy, it's me."  
  
"Buffy, where are you?"  
  
"I fell asleep at Willow's house."  
  
"I want you to come home right now."  
  
"Okay, just let me have breakfast first."  
  
"No, you can have breakfast at home."  
  
"Alright, I'm coming home," Buffy said in defeat and hung up the phone.  
  
"Do you always lie to your dad?" Angel said, grinning.  
  
"For some reason 'I got drunk and spent the night in some college guy's bed' doesn't seem like something he would want to hear."  
  
"Why not? That's something every father wants to hear from his teenage daughter."  
  
Buffy shifted her weight to one foot. She cleared her throat nervously. "Uh. I should probably get going."  
  
"Let me get your clothes."  
  
Buffy left after changing into her skirt and blouse and promising Angel she would show up at his party for at least a few minutes.  
  
Xander, Willow and Cordelia were the first to arrive at Angel's apartment. Soon the whole place was filled with girls wearing almost nothing and sex crazed guys. Pretty much everyone who came already had at least two beers. Within the first thirty minutes all the bedrooms were taken. That's how all Angel's parties were.  
  
Buffy knew the party had already started long before she arrived. It took her almost an hour to talk her dad into letting her out of the house again tonight. He was pretty upset when she didn't call the night before. He made Buffy promise she would be home by eleven or call if she was going to be any later. She was just glad he actually let her go. Of course he had no idea she was going to a party. He thought she was studying at a friend's house.  
  
"Hello, cutie."  
  
Buffy turned around to see if the greeting was meant for her.  
  
"I'm Spike," said a man who looked about the same age as Angel. He had bleached blonde hair and a British accent.  
  
"Buffy," she said, introducing herself.  
  
"You want a beer or something?"  
  
"We're trying to keep the alcohol away from her," Angel said as he walked up behind Spike.  
  
"So, you're the one who got messed with. I've heard a lot about you," Spike said as he took a step towards her.  
  
Buffy backed up to the wall as Spike settled his hand on her hip.  
  
"Spike, maybe you should go find your actual girlfriend, Drusilla. I think I saw her in my room.with Parker," Angel said in a threatening tone.  
  
"Sorry peaches. I didn't know she was your girl," Spike said as he walked away to find Drusilla.  
  
Buffy felt herself start to blush at his comment.  
  
"Sorry about Spike. He's.well he's Spike."  
  
"Peaches?" Buffy said as she tried unsuccessfully to hold back her laughter.  
  
"I was hoping you didn't hear that."  
  
"Can I call you 'peaches'?"  
  
"No," Angel said in a firm tone. "I'm going to go get something to drink. You want something?"  
  
"I'll just have a Sprite."  
  
"I'll be right back," Angel said as he walked off to the kitchen.  
  
Buffy leaned against the wall and looked for someone she knew. "Willow!" she called when she spotted the redhead.  
  
"Hey Buffy! Great show," Willow said, smirking.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Last night.you and Angel.you don't remember do you?" Willow laughed.  
  
"I have to go," Buffy said as she walked off to find Angel.  
  
Angel was searching through the cooler for a Sprite and a Millers Lite when Buffy stormed in.  
  
"Hey. What's wrong?"  
  
"What happened last night?"  
  
"Nothing. We danced a little and then I took you home when you started to get out of control."  
  
"How 'out of control'?"  
  
"Not much. You were just a little drunk, that's all I swear nothing happened."  
  
"Then why did Willow just tell me we put on 'a great show'?"  
  
"Well, there was one kiss. If it helps at all, it was one great kiss." Angel smiled sheepishly.  
  
Buffy tried to keep a straight face as a small smile crept up on the corners of her lips. "Was that all?"  
  
"Yeah, that was all."  
  
"You promise?"  
  
"I promise," Angel said reassuringly as he handed her a Sprite.  
  
"Can I use your bathroom?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Buffy walked down the hall past two closed doors. She could hear soft groans coming from inside each room. She tried not to picture what was going behind the closed doors. The bathroom door was closed so she knocked twice. When she got no answer she slowly opened the door. Willow's head was buried in Xanders pants. His hands were forcing her head on him. Buffy's eye's went wide when she realized what was going on.  
  
"I-I'm sorry," she mumbled as she quickly closed the door. She hurried back to the kitchen. She wanted to be as far away, from what she saw, as possible.  
  
"What's wrong?" Angel asked when he saw her face.  
  
"It was um, occupied."  
  
Angel instantly knew what was going on in the bathroom. "Who was it? I'll kick them out."  
  
"No, it's okay. I have to go anyway."  
  
"I want to know who it was." "Willow and Xander," Buffy mumbled as she looked down. "I thought Xander was with Cordelia."  
  
"He is. sort of. Xander fucks anyone who is willing to give him what he wants."  
  
"Oh," she said awkwardly. "Well, I have to go."  
  
"Please don't go because of them," Angel pleaded  
  
"I'm not. I promised my dad I would be home by eleven. He's not very happy about last night."  
  
"I want to show you something. What you doing tomorrow?"  
  
"Nothing. What do you want to show me?"  
  
"It's a surprise. Meet me here at five thirty," he said as he scribbled down an address and gave in to Buffy.  
  
"Okay. I'll see you then."  
  
"Later."  
  
  
  
TBC. 


	4. Kisses and Tears

Buffy was surprised when she discovered that the address Angel gave her was the address to a children's day camp. She checked it twice to make sure it was the right one.  
  
"May I help you?" a plump lady sitting behind a secretary's desk asked her.  
  
"I'm looking for Angel O'Conner."  
  
"I think he's outside."  
  
"Okay, thank you."  
  
Buffy found Angel throwing a football with a group of boys. He was wearing a green camp shirt that said, "Staff" on the back in big letters. "Hey," she said as she approached him.  
  
"You're early."  
  
"Am I too early? I can come back later, if you want."  
  
"No, its okay. I get off in ten minutes." Angel caught the football and threw it to a boy wearing a baseball cap that was turned sideways.  
  
"So, where are you taking me?"  
  
"I'm not telling."  
  
"Could you give me a hint?"  
  
Angel started to say something, but he was interrupted when a girl, with a worried expression on her face, started pulling on the leg of his pants.  
  
"Jamie peed in her pants," she said.  
  
Angel caught the football and handed it to Buffy. "Make yourself useful."  
  
"What?!? I throw like a girl."  
  
"Good. They do too," he said as he walked off.  
  
*** "Just a little farther," Angel said.  
  
"It smells like fish." Buffy made a face.  
  
Angel laughed. "I'll remember that the next time I want to take you somewhere special. We're here," he said as he removed the blindfold that covered her eyes.  
  
They were standing on a small cliff that overlooked the ocean. The sun was setting and it reflected on the water.  
  
"It's beautiful," she whispered.  
  
"Give me your shoes," he said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're going in the water."  
  
"We'll freeze."  
  
"No we won't."  
  
Buffy bent down, and carefully unbuckled her sandals and handed them to Angel. He took her hand and led her down the not so steep side of the cliff.  
  
"There's no way I'm going in that water," she said when they reached the tide.  
  
She squealed as he picked her up and carried her into the water. When it reached his ankles he put her down.  
  
"I brought you to the beach and you're going into the water."  
  
"Why did you bring me here?" she asked, her expression turning serious.  
  
"I know I just met you a few days ago, but it feels like I've known you all my life. You're graduating in a month and you'll go off to some big fancy college-"  
  
"UC Sunnydale," Buffy interrupted.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm going to UC Sunnydale."  
  
"Colleges all over the country would beg for someone like you to go the their school-"  
  
"But I don't want to go to any of those. I want to go to UC Sunnydale."  
  
"I go there."  
  
"I know"  
  
Angel brought his head down to hers and their lips locked in a soft, short kiss. It was nothing like the game of tonsil hockey they played when Buffy was drunk.  
  
"You're shivering," he said when their lips parted.  
  
"I'm cold."  
  
"Let's go then." He wrapped his arm around her waist and they walked back to his car.  
  
*** Angel was driving Buffy home from the beach. They were both enjoying the silence and each others company. It had started to rain and Buffy was watching the droplets fall onto the windshield of Angel's jeep.  
  
"What was your mom like? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."  
  
Buffy was surprised by the question. No one had mentioned her mother around her since the funeral.  
  
"She was the world's best mom. I would always look forward to Fridays. Every Friday right when I got home from school, we would climb in her beat- up truck and dive for two hours just to go horseback riding. We both shared the same obsession with horses. When I was little she would make up stories about how someday we would live on a ranch with lots of horses and cows. She loved cows."  
  
Angel studied Buffy's features out of the corner of his eye. He could see a small smile forming on her lips at the memories of her mother. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.  
  
"But, I guess nothing can stay perfect. About six months ago the horseback riding Fridays stopped. Instead she would be gone all day and wouldn't come home till early the next morning. She would sit in the kitchen with a bottle Vodka for hours and she'd just stare into space. She started to bring home all these guys with motorcycles and earrings. One of them was a drug dealer. I became ashamed of her. I wouldn't even look at her. I'd lock myself in my room until she left with one of her boyfriends. She lost her job, our house, everything. We had to move into a crappy apartment. I tried to tell her that she needed help, but whenever I brought it up she would tell me how it was all my fault and how I ruined her life." Buffy felt a warm tear roll down her cheek.  
  
"Then one day I came home from school and I found her laying on the couch. Her eyes were closed and she looked so peaceful. At first I thought she was asleep. But when I saw the empty bottle of aspirin on the floor, I knew what she had done. My mind went blank and I just froze. I keep wondering to myself what would had happed if I called sooner or if I got her help before it was too late. I thought we were so happy and it hurts that I can't figure out what I did to change that."  
  
Angel pulled over to the side of the road and turned to face her. He lightly grabbed her trembling wrists. She looked down.  
  
"Look at me," he said, "Buffy, look at me. What happened to your mother was not your fault."  
  
"How do you know? What if." She collapsed on to his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears. "I miss her so much and I hate her for leaving me." His chest muffled her voice.  
  
Angel held her, gently rocking her. "I shouldn't have brought it up"  
  
She looked up at him. Her cheeks were tear stained. "No," she shook her head, "it's feels good to talk about it."  
  
Angel maneuvered the car back to the road and silently drove her home.  
  
TBC. 


	5. Macaroni and Cheese

Buffy glided gracefully across the ice, her mitten-covered hand in Angel's bare one. Ice-skating was one of the many things she had given up when her mother became sick. Angel suddenly pulled her into the middle of the ice rink. He spun her around a few times before planting a soft kiss on her lips.  
  
Darla was watching the couple from a far and she was furious. Angel had never shown any signs of public affection when they were together. 'What makes this bitch so special?' she thought to herself.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Spike asked as he walked up behind her.  
  
"Who's the girl with Angel?"  
  
"Her name's Buffy. You jealous?"  
  
"Does it matter?" Darla asked, annoyed.  
  
"She won't last long."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"She's too innocent. Even Peaches won't be able to get into her pants."  
  
Darla looked back at the couple. She found them, still hand in hand, getting off the ice.  
  
After taking off her skates, Buffy excused herself to the restroom.  
  
"Angel's too experienced for you."  
  
"What?" Buffy turned around to find a skinny blonde.  
  
"You're too prude for him. Angel has needs that someone like you can't fulfill."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Darla." The girl flashed a smile and walked off.  
  
Shopping with Willow was a new experience. When Buffy asked her if she wanted to go Willow had said, "Okay, but I'm not going into anything that looks remotely like Ann Taylor," and she meant it. Buffy ended up buying a black, leather mini and a tight red sweater that barely covered her, but that was the whole point. She had gotten what she came for.  
  
Angel thought he was dreaming when he saw what Buffy had on. She was wearing the same outfit she had bought with Willow earlier that day. To complete the sluttish outfit she borrowed her friend's knee black, stilleto go-go boots.  
  
"You like?" she asked when she saw the look on his face.  
  
"Yeah, you look great," he smiled and shifted his weight uncomfortably to one foot. He had dated plenty of girls who dressed on the wild side, but he never suspected Buffy would ever go for something like what she was wearing. He opened the door a little wider so that she could come in. She wrapped her arms around Angel's neck and pulled him closer to her for a long kiss. When Buffy started to deepen the kiss he pulled away.  
  
"What's that for?" he questioned.  
  
"No reason. Where are we going?"  
  
"Nowhere"  
  
"I thought we were going out to dinner."  
  
"No, I'm cooking dinner here."  
  
"You cook?"  
  
"Yeah, I do. Why do you sound so surprised?"  
  
"You don't seem like the kind of person who cooks."  
  
"Well, I do a lot of things that you wouldn't think I'd do."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
He smirked suggestively. "You'll find out. eventually. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes."  
  
"You need any help with anything?"  
  
"Nope. Why don't you go watch TV?" he said and gave her a quick peck on the forehead before walking into the kitchen.  
  
"Okay, it's ready," Angel said a few minutes later as he walked into the living room and over to where Buffy was sitting. He reached his hand out to help her up. "Come on," he said, still holding her hand. He covered her eyes with the other and led her into the kitchen. When he removed his hand Buffy found herself in a beautifully decorated candle- lit room.  
  
"This is sweet."  
  
"You think?" he asked as he pulled out a chair for her.  
  
"Of course." She sat down. "You made macaroni and cheese?" she asked when she saw what was in the bowl in front of her.  
  
"I said I cook. I didn't say I cook well."  
  
"This is great."  
  
Over dinner Buffy talked about her life in LA and he mom while Angel talked about college, work and his passion for art. A few time Angel found Buffy's foot trailing up his leg. He chose to ignore it, but then he didn't do anything to prevent it either.  
  
Afterwards, when Angel was washing the dishes, Buffy looked through his portfolio. She was amazed at the detail of his drawings. He drew pictures of people and scenery. She found some of children, which she guessed were campers. There was one of the beach where they had their first kiss. She was about to put them away when she spotted an unfinished drawing of herself.  
  
Just as Angel was drying the last of the dishes, he felt small arms wrap around his waist. He put the towel that he was holding down and turned around to face Buffy.  
  
"You're very talented," she said as she pushed herself up against Angel and pulled him down for a kiss. He still didn't understand Buffy's game, but he decided to play along.  
  
"Thank you," he mumbled, but she cut him off when she deepened the kiss.  
  
She pushed him against the counter and started to unbutton her shirt.  
  
"What are you -"  
  
"Shh." She got down on her knees and slowly began to fumble with the zipper of his pants.  
  
"Whoa!" He jerked away and readjusted his pants. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Isn't this what you want?" she asked as she buttoned her sweater and tried to hide her embarrassment.  
  
"What? No. I would never make you do something you're not ready for."  
  
"But your friend said that this is what you wanted."  
  
"Who told you that?"  
  
"Darla."  
  
Angel grabbed her wrists roughly. "Don't you ever listen to anything Darla says about me."  
  
"You're hurting me."  
  
He loosened his grip.  
  
"Who is she?"  
  
"Lets sit down."  
  
They walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.  
  
"Darla is my ex. She and I dated for about three years."  
  
"Did you love her?" Buffy asked as she toyed with the cross hanging from his neck.  
  
"I did, until I saw her true side."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I found her in our bed with another man."  
  
"You lived together?"  
  
"We did, but only for a few months. It's getting late. I should get you home," Angel said changing the subject.  
  
Buffy wanted to know more, but she decided not to push. "I can walk."  
  
"Dressed like that, you'll get yourself raped. I'll give you a ride."  
  
TBC. 


	6. Get Over It

Xander and Cordelia were sitting on the couch at the Bronze discussing baby names.  
  
"Lisa?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"No, that's too common."  
  
"How about Rachel or Cassie?"  
  
"Why are you only picking girl names?" Xander asked. "If it's a boy we could name him after Angel."  
  
"There is no way I'm naming my kid Angel. I don't care who he's named after. What do you think about Eric?"  
  
"Still too common."  
  
"Fine! How about Bernard?" she said sarcastically.  
  
"It's just a name I'm okay with whatever you choose," Xander said finally, ending the conversation.  
  
  
  
"Angel, I can't do this," Buffy said. Angel had driven her two hours to LA just so he could take her horseback riding like her mom had done. He didn't mean to make her upset; he just wanted to do something special for her. "Why did you bring me here?" she asked.  
  
"I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"You know my mom and I used to ride all the time,"  
  
"And you make it sound like you loved it."  
  
"I did."  
  
"Then why are you so upset?"  
  
"Because she's dead!" Buffy yelled.  
  
"Dammit Buffy, it's been seven months and you act like she died yesterday."  
  
"Are you telling me to get over her and just forget?"  
  
"No, I'm telling you to move on. You can't spend your whole life thinking she's going to come back."  
  
"That's easy for you to say."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"You live the perfect life. You're in college, you're artistic and you have everything going for you."  
  
"How con you say that? You don't know anything about me, about my life."  
  
"Then tell me."  
  
"Fine. My dad was a coke addict. He left my mom and I when I was two. When I was five my mom ran off with some guy and I never saw her again. I was put into foster care. I grew up moving from home to home. I never had time to make friends before I had to move again. Not so perfect, huh? At least you have your dad."  
  
"I. I'm sorry," she said after a moment.  
  
"Let's just go," Angel said as he opened the door to his car.  
  
"Don't." Buffy grabbed his arm.  
  
"I thought you didn't want to do this."  
  
"I changed my mind."  
  
"I don't want your pity. Don't do this just because you feel bad for me."  
  
"I'm not. You're right I need to let go. Maybe. I don't know, maybe this'll help."  
  
Angel wrapped his arm around her waist, kissed the top of her head and they walked to the two horses that were waiting.  
  
  
  
A day later Buffy sat on the couch in the living room doing her homework. Like most nights, her dad had to work until early morning. She heard a knock at the door and got up to see who it was.  
  
"Angel? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Cordelia's in labor."  
  
"What? She's two months early!"  
  
"I know. We have to hurry, Willow's waiting in the car."  
  
Buffy quickly scribbled a note to her dad, hung it on the refrigerator, and stuffed her books in her backpack. "Okay, I'm ready."  
  
"You forgot one." Angel held up her AP Psychology book.  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said as she grabbed it from him and hurried out the door.  
  
In the car, Willow had taken the front seat either so she could sit as close to Angel a possible or piss Buffy off, both reasons worked. "I don't see why she had to have the baby tonight," she said.  
  
"I'm not sure she had a choice in that," Angel responded, dryly.  
  
She ignored him. "I had a date tonight. Any other night would have been fine, just not tonight."  
  
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience."  
  
"You could make it up to me," she said as she placed a hand on his thigh.  
  
"No, I can't." Angel moved his leg out of her reach and looked at Buffy in his rear view mirror. She was looking out the window and biting down, angrily, on her lower lip.  
  
"Fine, but you don't know what you're missing."  
  
"And I don't want to know."  
  
"Whatever. It's not like you're getting anything from her," Willow said, indicating to Buffy.  
  
"I don't want anything like that from her."  
  
"I'm right here guys, you don't have to act like I'm not," Buffy interrupted.  
  
"Good, cause we're ending this conversation," Angel said and they drove to the hospital in silence.  
  
When they arrived in the hospital waiting room, Spike and Drusilla were already there.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Xander's in with Cordy." "Thanks," Angel said and turned to Buffy. "I'll be right back."  
  
Buffy sat down with her books and started to continue her homework.  
  
Two hours later Buffy sat alone with Angel in the waiting room. Willow, Spike and Drusilla had gone to the cafeteria. Angel was drawing and Buffy was leaning on his shoulder watching him.  
  
"Willow was right wasn't she?" she asked.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Angel put his pencil down.  
  
"You want more than I'll give you."  
  
"Didn't we just have this conversation a week ago?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"And what did I say then?"  
  
"I know. It's just that I see all these girls throwing themselves at you, girls who want to give you more than I want to."  
  
"I don't want them. I'm sick of them."  
  
"How many girls have you dated?"  
  
"Do you really want me to count?"  
  
"Are you bragging?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Was Darla the only one you were serious with?"  
  
"Not the only one." Angel wrapped an arm around her and played with her hair.  
  
"Who else?"  
  
"You." He smiled.  
  
"Tell me more about Darla."  
  
Angel sighed. "Darla is a selfish bitch and I really don't want to talk about this now."  
  
"That's pretty harsh. You guys must have been pretty serious."  
  
"We were."  
  
"Do you think you'll ever forgive her?" She pulled his necklace out from under his shirt and began to play with it.  
  
"If you're asking if I would ever date her again, the answer's no. Don't you have homework?"  
  
"You sound like my dad."  
  
"I just don't want to talk about this."  
  
"Then what do you want to talk about?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Buffy lay down resting her head in Angel's lap and quickly fell asleep. He draped his jacket over her and continued to draw.  
  
  
  
An hour later Xander came in smiling. "It's a girl! You want to see her?"  
  
"Yeah, we'll be in in a minute," Angel said as he woke Buffy.  
  
Pretty soon everyone surrounded Cordelia's hospital bed. "That was the worst experience of my life," she said, explaining to Willow.  
  
Buffy looked over to the incubator, where the baby lay. On it was the birth certificate.  
  
Name: Tiffany Harris  
  
Date: April 22, 1999  
  
Buffy didn't read on to the medical stuff, she just smiled at the name. She knew Xander obviously didn't choose it.  
  
"We'll be right back," Angel said as he grabbed Buffy's hand and walked out. Once they were outside of the room and out of sight he pulled her in close for a kiss.  
  
"What was that for?" Buffy asked when she finally pulled away for air.  
  
"Do I have to have a reason to kiss my girlfriend?"  
  
"No, it was a little spontaneous, though."  
  
"I didn't know how much more of Cordelia's complaining I could take. Kissing you is a lot more fun."  
  
"It is, isn't it?" Buffy said and kissed him again.  
  
"You want to go get something to eat?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
  
  
It was a little after one in the morning, when Angel dropped Buffy at her house. He had just parked his car in front of his apartment when something in the passenger's seat caught his eye. Buffy had left her notebook. He was about to turn around and drive back to her house, when he realized her dad would probably never let him near her again. He flipped through the pages. He noticed the back coved was covered in doodles. She had written, "Buffy + Angel forever," and drawn hearts all over it. Angel smiled as he tucked it in his jacket and got out of the car.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
. 


	7. The Prom

Buffy woke up to the sound of someone knocking on her door. When she opened it she found Angel standing there with a goofy grin on his face. Before she could say anything he kissed her long and passionately.  
  
"Hi," he said when she finally pulled away.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm going to give you a ride to school."  
  
Buffy looked at the clock. "It's five o'clock in the morning. I don't have to be at school until seven thirty."  
  
"I know, I did once attend the same school. I'm taking you out to breakfast."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yes, now! Go get dressed."  
  
She kissed him quickly and ran upstairs to find something to wear..  
  
  
  
Angel took her to Denny's.  
  
"Is this going to become a regular thing?" she asked.  
  
"Don't push it. I don't plan on getting up at four every morning."  
  
"Guess what?" Buffy said after they ordered their breakfast.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I got a job," she said proudly.  
  
"Really? Where?"  
  
"At 'Cool Beans'.  
  
"The café?"  
  
"Uh huh. I took your advice. I thought a job might help distract me a little. from everything."  
  
Angel smiled. "It will." He took her hand and kissed it.  
  
  
  
"Prom is coming up," Buffy said after a while.  
  
"Are you asking me to go?"  
  
"Well, everyone else already has a date. I was hoping you'd be my last minute date."  
  
"You mean your backup?"  
  
"Sort of." She grinned.  
  
"What's in it for me?"  
  
"A dance with a bunch of horny teenagers."  
  
"Are you referring to yourself?" He grinned.  
  
Buffy hit him playfully.  
  
"Is everything okay here?" a waitress asked.  
  
"Can you tell me what time it is?" Angel asked.  
  
"It's seven forty five."  
  
Buffy's eyes went wide as she looked at him.  
  
"Shit! Come one," he said and he dropped a wad of crumpled up dollar bills on the table.  
  
Angel pulled up to the curb in front of Sunnydale High School.  
  
Buffy grabbed her bag and practically jumped out of the car. She started running towards the school, but stopped. "Angel?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
She ran back to the car and gave him a quick kiss. "You never answered me about the prom."  
  
"Of course I'll go. Now go to class before I decide to take you out to lunch."  
  
She kissed him one more time and ran towards the school.  
  
  
  
Buffy answered the door wearing a light purple, strapless gown. Half her hair was pinned up with little wisps, framing her face.  
  
"You look beautiful," Angel said.  
  
"You don't look so bad yourself," she responded and wasn't lying. He looked good in a tux. She grabbed her purse and took his hand. He escorted her outside, where she found a limousine parked in front of her driveway.  
  
"Our chariot is waiting, my lady," Angel said in a bad English accent as the driver opened the door for them. Buffy laughed.  
  
"Angel, you didn't have to get a limo. How are you going to afford this?" Buffy said when the driver closed the door behind them.  
  
"One of my kid's dad owns a limo rental place. I got this for practically nothing, but you're not supposed to know that."  
  
  
  
When they arrived at Sunnydale High, the gym was already crowded.  
  
"Do you want to dance?" Angel asked her.  
  
"I'd love too," she took his hand and he lead her to the dance floor.  
  
"Thank you," she said when they were on their second song.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For everything The limo, coming here, tonight. You always make everything perfect."  
  
"I should be the one thanking you. After all, I'm here with the most beautiful girl in the whole room."  
  
Buffy blushed at the compliment.  
  
"My prom was pretty crappy. My date and I got in a big fight and I spent the whole night getting drunk off my ass. You're giving me a second chance."  
  
"Can I cut in?" Xander came up behind Angel.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes when she saw him.  
  
"I'm going to get us some drinks," Angel said and he left Buffy to dance with Xander. "Why do you look so upset, Buff? Are you and Angel fighting?" Xander asked with a smirk.  
  
"Yeah, he left me to dance with you, when he knows how much I hate you."  
  
"Hate is such a strong word."  
  
"Oh, but it fits you perfectly."  
  
"What did I ever do to you?"  
  
"My first day of school you sexually harassed me. You spiked my drink at the bronze and you're a complete and total asshole."  
  
"What are you talking about? Are you denying that you had fun that night?" His hand moved up toward her breast.  
  
"You don't ever stop thinking about sex, do you?" She brushed his hand away.  
  
"No, but neither does Angel and it looks like he's doing pretty well."  
  
"Angel may only think about sex, but at least he doesn't act on it."  
  
"Stop trying to get my girlfriend in your pants." Angel said sarcastically as he returned with two cups of punch. He handed one to Buffy.  
  
  
  
"You can come in. My dad's on a business trip in LA for the weekend," Buffy said as the limo pulled up to her house.  
  
Angle had never actually been inside her house. Buffy's father seemed extremely overprotective of her and Angel was sure he wasn't someone he wanted to meet, at least not yet.  
  
"Do you want the grand tour?" she asked after closing the door.  
  
"Sure," he said as he slipped his hands into his pockets. Not since he was fifteen had he felt this same nervous anticipation in a girl's house.  
  
Buffy quickly showed him around, saving her room for last.  
  
Angel sat down on her bed and picked up the picture on her bedside table. "Is this your mom?"  
  
"Yeah, that was when she and my dad were thinking about getting back together. It was the happiest I've ever seen her. I don't see how she could have loved him. He's so self-centered."  
  
"Come here." He patted the bed and she sat down beside him.  
  
"Your dad loves you, Buffy. He just doesn't know how to show it. It's been a long time since he's had a daughter around."  
  
"I know, but as long as I can remember it's just been my mom and I, and now here's this new guy in my life who decides where I go, and what time I'm home, but he isn't someone I can talk to about anything. The only time he talks to me is when he is telling me what to do. He's a self-centered control freak."  
  
"Maybe he's just afraid of losing you, like he lost your mom. He drove her away."  
  
Buffy leaned in and kissed him. When he didn't move she grew bolder and traced his lips with her tongue. He moved his hand to her back, drawing her closer. His tongue slid into her mouth and her arms wrapped around his neck. He angled his head as he increased the pressure on her lips. He pulled her closer, encouraging her to explore. In slow storkes, he moved his hand up and down her back, sending tingles through her body. His lips nuzzled her ear and when his tongue flicked the lobe she sighed. He pulled away, knowing that if they went any farther he wouldn't be able to stop himself.  
  
"I should go." His husky voice sent chills down her spine. She started to protest, but her cut her off with a kiss. He was about to leave when her spotted the picture of her and her mother still lying on the bed. He picked it up.  
  
"Can I borrow this?"  
  
"Sure. What for?" Buffy asked curiously.  
  
"You'll see," he said as he slipped the picture into the pocket of his coat. He kissed her quickly. "I'll call you." With that he left.  
  
TBC. 


	8. Heated Passion

Warning: This chapter contains sex and is rated R.  
  
Angel and Buffy were walking hand in hand through Weatherly Park. They had just seen a movie at the Sun Cinema, but didn't want to say "good-bye" just yet.  
  
"Do you want to do something after your graduation, to celebrate? That is, if you're not doing anything with your dad," Angel asked as Buffy sat down on one of the swings and he moved behind to push her.  
  
"No, he's going on another business trip. He leaves tonight."  
  
Angel caught her by the waist. "He's missing your graduation?"  
  
"According to him, his work is very important and he can't risk losing this deal for some boring ceremony where they give you a piece of paper that just tells you something you already know. He told me to take pictures for him. We got in this big fight about it yesterday," she said, looking at the ground.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. It's not your fault I have a moron for a father. Besides, it's better if he's not there. More time with you." She smiled. "What are we doing afterwards?"  
  
"I'm not sure." He kissed the top of her head. "Probably dinner. Does dinner sound good to you?"  
  
"Dinner sounds great. What should I wear?"  
  
"Whatever you want. That's your job to figure out. I pick the restaurant, you pick what you're going to wear."  
  
"Is it formal or casual?"  
  
"I haven't decided where we're going yet, but I'd be pretty cheep if I took you to The Bronze. It'll be formal." Angel looked at his watch. "I should go, I have to be at work in twenty minutes. Do you want a ride home?"  
  
"No, I think I'll stay a little longer." She stood up.  
  
"Okay, I'll call you tonight." They kissed quickly and he left.  
To Angel, Buffy's graduation was tedious. It was exactly the same as his was, only this time he wasn't stoned. (He'd given up drugs during his freshmen year of college, when he almost flunked out because he had been getting high instead of going to class). He knew that Xander and Willow wouldn't care if he left, but he stayed for Buffy. This was a big day for her and he was the only one there to see it. Whether she'd admit it or not, he knew she was upset about her dad not being there. Now, he was glad it was over. He unlocked the door to his apartment and let Buffy inside. She was wearing a crimson spaghetti-strap dress, and she looked great.  
  
"I'll be right back." Angel motioned for her to sit down on the couch and he walked into his bedroom.  
  
She turned on the TV and flipped through the channels for about ten minutes. Finally, getting bored, she got up and walked into Angel's room to see what was taking him so long. "What are you looking for?" she asked, when she saw him shuffling through papers on his desk.  
  
"The restaurants address. Dammit, it was right here this morning."  
  
Buffy took his hand and entangled his fingers with hers. "It doesn't matter. We can just order pizza. We'll have it delivered."  
  
"We have reservations."  
  
"Since when do you care about reservations?"  
  
"Tonight was supposed to be perfect and I screwed it up."  
  
"Angel, I don't care about fancy restaurants. Tonight is perfect and so is pizza."  
  
Angel lowered his head down to hers and their lips locked. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed her hips into his. When the need for air came, he pulled away, but just barely. "I don't feel like pizza. How about Chinese?" he asked.  
  
"Chinese is good," she responded and captured his lips again. Angel slowly moved toward the bed and Buffy willingly followed. She knew they were playing with fire, but she didn't have the will to stop it, nor did she want to. She sat down on the bed and pulled him down with her.  
  
Angel was the one who pulled away. "We should stop," he said breathlessly.  
  
"No, I'm ready now."  
  
"I know." He combed his hand through his hair. Holding back was taking every bit of control he had.  
  
"I love you and I want to show you that."  
  
"I know you love me; you don't need to show me."  
  
"I want to."  
  
"I know this sounds crazy coming from me, but all this time I've been saying you're not ready. Now you are and I'm not. I love you so much and I don't want to ruin what we have."  
  
"Why would it be ruined?" Buffy asked. Now she was confused, he obviously wasn't the virgin here.  
  
"I've never felt this way about anyone before, not even Darla. She went off and had sex with a bunch of guys, whom she can't even name, and I don't want to lose you like that."  
  
"You're not going to lose me." She continued to toy with the necklace.  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"Because I won't let you. I'm not like Darla. I want to be with you, not anyone else."  
  
"You've never slept with anyone before. You don't know what it feels like to be completely taken over by lust. You lose control."  
  
"No, but I know how it feels like to be completely taken over by love. This isn't about lust, Angel. I don't want to just have sex with you. I want to make love to you, but not if you don't want me."  
  
"Believe me, I want you. Sometimes more than I can stand."  
  
"Then you can have me."  
  
"Buffy, are you sure?" He looked her in the eyes.  
  
"I've never been more sure about anything. This feels right."  
  
His lips brushed against hers. She threaded her fingers through his short, spiky hair. She moved her hand down, over his shoulders and onto his chest. Carefully, but quickly, she began to unbutton his shirt. He placed his hands on her shoulders, letting the straps of her dress slip between his fingers. He slowly pulled the dress down her arms. The dress scraping across her bare breasts, fell to the floor. He discarded his shirt and it joined her dress. He guided her down onto the bed. His hand slid down her body, but stopped at her stomach.  
  
"Are you sure about this?" he asked.  
  
In response, she nodded and unbuttoned his pants. He reached for a condom in the top drawer of his bureau. She slid his pants down, along with his boxers. He kicked the off the annoying garments and pulled down her thong, which matched her dress. He looked at her and she nodded her approval nervously. He entered her gently, tentatively. Her nails dug into his back.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
She smiled shyly. "Yeah."  
  
He waited as she adjusted to the feel of him and slowly began to rock his hips back and forth. He kissed her tears and ran his fingers through her hair. His hands seemed everywhere at once as she slid hers down his perfectly toned arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed him deeper. She arched her back and moved her hips to meet his thrusts. As his movements quickened, she caught his rhythm and matched it to hers. Their bodies glistened with sweat as they gasped and came together.  
Buffy reached over for Angel, but he was gone. She opened her eyes and stretched her arms across the bed. There was a faint aroma of bacon in the air. Suddenly aware of her nakedness, she reached for the nearest item of clothing, which happened to be Angel's shirt from the night before. She slipped it on and headed for the bathroom.  
  
Angel was standing in front of the stove when he felt thin arms wrap around his waist. "Hey," he said, without turning around.  
  
"Hi," Buffy mumbled back as she kissed the back of his neck.  
  
He turned to face her, his hands resting on her hips.  
  
She was still wearing his shirt, but her hair was wet from her shower.  
  
"Did you sleep well?" he asked as he pulled her closer for a kiss.  
  
"Uh huh," she mumbled into his lips. "I hope you don't mind that I borrowed your shower."  
  
"Without me?" he replied with mock hurt.  
  
"I smelled food and I didn't want to distract you from cooking another of your gourmet macaroni and cheese cuisines."  
  
"Hey, I make very good Easy Mac."  
  
"Yes, you do."  
  
He slipped a piece of bacon into her mouth.  
  
"Mmm.so the macaroni and cheese was just an act?" she asked when she tasted the food.  
  
"No, I just got lucky this morning." He kissed her again, but she pulled away when something caught her attention.  
  
"What's that?" she asked, hinting to a large object that was covered in a sheet in the corner of the kitchen.  
  
"Your graduation present." He tried to kiss her again, but she moved away.  
  
"Can I see it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not? I've already graduated."  
  
"It's not finished."  
  
"So..."  
  
"So, you'll see it when it's finished."  
  
"Can I take a peek?" she asked, giving him a look he couldn't resist.  
  
"Fine." Angel walked over to it and pulled the sheet off. It was an easel with a painting of the picture of Buffy and her mother; the one she had let him borrow the night of the prom.  
  
"I love it," she whispered.  
  
"Now I'm a crappy boyfriend for letting you see it before it's finished."  
  
"No one's ever done something like this for me."  
  
"Well, they should have." He bent down and finally got his kiss. "Let's eat." He took two plates and two glasses from the cupboard. He filled the plates up with food. "Milk or juice?" he asked.  
  
"Juice, please."  
  
He poured two glasses of juice and placed everything on the table.  
  
"Let's do something today," she said in between bites.  
  
He looked at her apologetically. "I have to work."  
  
"Oh," she said, trying to hide her disappointment.  
  
"You can hang out here if you want. To make it up to you, I'll plan something for tonight." Angel reached in to his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He held out his credit card. "You can go shopping on me. I'll drop you off on my way to work, but you'll have to walk back."  
  
"You really don't want to give me your credit card."  
  
"Then take it before I change my mind."  
  
She snatched it from him and grinned, which made him laugh. "I don't have anything to wear."  
  
"Hurry up and eat so we can stop by your house and you can change."  
When Angel got home, the apartment looked empty. The lights in the kitchen and living room were turned off. He almost tripped over a shopping bag in the hallway. He walked upstairs and found Buffy asleep in his bed. She was wearing his t-shirt and rolled up sweat pants. He lay down next to her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Her eyelids flittered open.  
  
"Hey." He smiled.  
  
"Hi. When did you get back?"  
  
"A few minutes ago. Didn't you go shopping for clothes?" He touched his shirt that she was wearing.  
  
"Yours smell better."  
  
He brought his lips down to hers for a deep kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his tongue searched her mouth. He broke away. "I have something to show you." He got up and pulled her up with him.  
  
He led her out of the apartment and down to the parking lot. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the side of the building. He opened the fire exit door and held it for her. "Come on."  
  
Buffy looked up. "That's like five hundred steps."  
  
"Something like that. Let's go." He started running up the stairs.  
  
"Wait!" she called as she chased after him.  
  
When they reached the top, they both were out of breath. Angel opened another door. Buffy walked through it and found herself on the top of the apartment building complex.  
  
"You can see all of Sunnydale," she said.  
  
"All of Sunnydale isn't really that much." He reached for her hand and walked over to a blanket he had set out earlier that day. He laid down on it and pulled her down with him. They were lying down on their backs looking up at the stars.  
  
"Angel, it's beautiful." Buffy began to play with his necklace, which had fallen out of his shirt, turning it in circles with her fingertips.  
  
Angel noticed the attention she was giving to his necklace. He reached around his neck and took it off. "So are you," he said causing her to blush, as he put it on her. He noticed her embarrassment and changed the subject. "When does your dad get home?"  
  
"A week from today."  
  
"Great! Stay with me. We can spend the whole week together. I have to work a few days, but that's it." Angel felt like a little kid, getting excited over Disneyland.  
  
"I can't. He's going to know. I mean, what if he calls and I'm never there?"  
  
"When he gets back, you can tell him you didn't want to stay alone all week so you stayed with Cordelia and the baby. We can pick up your stuff in the morning."  
  
"This is insane. He'll totally know."  
  
"Will you do it?"  
  
"Yes." She smiled.  
  
Angel leaned over her and kissed her. She began unbuttoning his shirt and they made love amidst the stars.  
  
TBC. 


	9. Trust Me

Buffy was on Angel's laptop signing up for classes at UC Sunnydale online when she heard the voice of the AOL postmaster say, "You've got mail." A pop-up window, asking if she would like to read the e-mail now, appeared on the screen. Just as she was about to click the "Read It Later" button, Darla's name caught her eye. She knew she shouldn't read it. It was Angel's mail and she trusted him. She didn't need to go snooping behind his back, but then again, it was Darla. Against her better judgment, she clicked "Read Now."  
  
Hey Baby, It's been a while since we've really had a chance to talk. How are you? How is your innocent little girlfriend? Fuck her yet? Didn't think so. Don't worry, I can tell she'd be a bad lay anyway. It's just a matter of time until you get over your little phase and realize that you will never be as happy with anyone else as you were with me. We had some great times didn't we? Do you remember that Lakers' game? How could you forget? We spent the entire game teasing each other. Afterwards, we ended up fucking behind that hotdog stand. We had lots of dates like that, but that one had to be the most frustrating. I know I wasn't the only one who enjoyed it. You had a great time. Until then, I didn't think you were capable of some of those things you did to me, but I should have known. You are capable of many things. Now that we're on the subject, I had a great fuck last night. Do you remember Riley Finn? He graduated a year before us and joined the military. Wow! That boy knows how to use his dick, but don't worry, he's nothing compared to you. How long is it going to take you to realize that you need me? I really wish I could talk longer, but I have community service hours to finish up. Can you believe that I'm still on probation from stealing that mini-skirt from Macy's? Call me when you read this. There is a Lakers' game on Tuesday. It's still not too late to get tickets.  
  
Love, Darla  
  
XOXOXOXO  
  
Buffy quickly closed the e-mail. She knew that Darla was a whore and Angel wasn't going to call her, but she couldn't stop thinking that she had disappointed him in bed. She also felt guilty for reading his mail. She knew she'd tell him she read it, but she was afraid of his reaction. She'd heard about his temper, but she'd never actually seen it. Angel had never gotten mad at her, or at least he'd always kept his cool around her. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door open. She left the room to greet him with a kiss and tell him what she'd just read.  
  
"Hey," he said as he placed a kiss on her lips.  
  
"We should talk."  
  
"That's never a good way to start a conversation."  
  
She took his hand and led him to the kitchen table. She laced her fingers with his. "If two people want a lasting relationship they should be honest right?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Honest relationships last. Unlike relationships that are made up of lies."  
  
"Where are you going with this?" he interrupted.  
  
She took a deep breath. "I was on your computer signing up for classes and you got an e-mail from Darla. I.uh. I kind of read it," she stuttered.  
  
Angel looked down at their entangled fingers.  
  
"Are you angry?" Buffy asked when he didn't respond.  
  
"Angry? No, I'm not angry. I'm upset, but I'm not angry. I'm confused as hell. I thought you trusted me."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Then why'd you go behind my back?"  
  
"I trust you, but I don't trust her."  
  
"About every few months, I'll get an e-mail from Darla. They're either about her latest accomplishment in bed or her newest big plan to get me back. They don't work, Buffy. Most of the time, I don't even read them."  
  
"You don't?"  
  
"Next time, if you want to know something, just ask. I'll tell you everything. I may not want to tell you, but if it's what you need to hear."  
  
"Okay."  
  
He smiled. "Why don't I make dinner, then we'll go to The Bronze?"  
  
"That sounds good."  
  
He got up and walked over to the stove.  
  
"Hey, Angel?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Am I a 'bad lay'?" She looked down, hoping he wouldn't see her blushing.  
  
Angel almost choked at the question. "You're great. If I didn't know better, I wouldn't have thought you were a virgin." He smiled.  
Buffy, Angel, Cordelia, Willow and Xander all sat around a small table at the Bronze.  
  
"After tonight, I will have fucked every member of The Dingos Ate My Baby," Willow said as she sipped a Vodka and orange juice.  
  
"Thanks for the information, Will," Buffy said from her perch on Angel's lap.  
  
"Which one do you have left?" Xander asked.  
  
"Oz, the lead guitarist. We have a date after the band finishes their gig."  
  
"You're kidding, right?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"Oz is a virgin and a strict Catholic."  
  
"Then I'll just have to deflower him, won't I? Besides, Angel's a Catholic and he's not a virgin. I can testify to that."  
  
Buffy choked on her Sprite. "You slept with Willow?" she asked Angel.  
  
"Don't act so surprised, Buffy. Besides you, he's slept with every girl at this table and probably half the girls on that dance floor," Willow said.  
  
"Oh." Buffy felt her face redden and she took a sip of her Sprite.  
  
"I don't think I'd call myself a Catholic," Angel said, changing the subject.  
  
"You wear that cross," Cordelia said.  
  
"It was my grandmother's. It's the only thing I have left of my family."  
  
Buffy brought her hand up to her chest. She could feel the cross underneath her shirt.  
  
"Time for me to go work my stuff," Willow said as the band finished their act.  
  
Cordelia turned toward Xander. "That reminds me, I have a date Saturday night and my mom has a bingo game, so I need you to take care of Tiffany."  
  
"I can't." He knew he was picking a fight.  
  
"And why not?" She asked, irritated.  
  
"Because I'm busy Saturday night."  
  
"Well, make yourself not busy."  
  
"Why doesn't your mom just cancel her bingo game?"  
  
"Because Tiffany isn't my mom's baby. You act like you don't like spending time with our daughter!"  
  
"Your daughter is only two months old. Don't you think that's a little young to be without her mother?"  
  
"My daughter? What are you saying? That I fooled around with myself and got myself knocked up? Maybe I need a break! Why don't you try being the one who has to wake up every three hours to a screaming child for once?"  
  
Angel said a silent "thank you" to the DJ who decided to play a slow song. "Let's dance," he said as he pulled Buffy onto the dance floor.  
  
"I wanted to see how that was going to play out," she said as soon as they were out of Xander and Cordelia's hearing range.  
  
"I can tell you," he said. "Cordelia's going to tell Xander when to pick Tiffany up and storm off. Xander's going to get drunk off his ass and find some girl to screw. On Saturday, he won't show up and Cordelia will either cancel her date or drop Tiffany off at my house. Most likely, it'll be the latter."  
  
"Why don't you just say 'no'?"  
  
"Because if I do, I'll have to listen to Cordy bitch about it for the next month."  
  
"Xander's a prick."  
  
Angel raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I feel bad for Cordelia. I mean, she's only eighteen and has all this responsibility. It's like Xander doesn't even care. He could as least watch Tiffany for about an hour so she can take a break. He just runs from everything that requires work."  
  
"He's not that bad. I mean, yeah, he's not the most responsible guy, but when you really need him, he'll pull through."  
  
" I would never 'really need' Xander for anything."  
  
"Could we talk about something else?" Angel felt his anger rising. He loved Buffy, but he wasn't just going to stand there while she talked crap about his best friend.  
  
"Do you think they're done fighting?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, it doesn't take Cordelia that long to get mad and storm off." He took her hand and they walked back to their table.  
  
Angel was right. Xander was sitting at the table with a tall blonde, with big breasts, on his lap. Cordelia was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Hey, you guys back?"  
  
"Yeah, and you found a friend," Buffy said as she folded a napkin on the table.  
  
"Oh sorry. This is uh-"  
  
"Catherine," the blonde interrupted him. "Angel! Hi!" she squealed.  
  
"Hi," he said, even though he had no idea who she was.  
  
"You remember me, right? We met at that Greenday concert in LA. Afterward, you took me to your apartment."  
  
"Yeah, I remember," he lied, before she could say anymore in front of Buffy.  
  
Catherine jumped off Xander's lap and sat in a chair next to Angel. Xander shot Angel a warning look.  
  
"That was great, wasn't it?"  
  
"It was alright. I don't really like punk music."  
  
"Actually, I wasn't talking about the concert."  
  
"Oh. It was good, I guess." Angel felt awkward with Buffy sitting right next to him.  
  
"Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom." Buffy stood up and walked off.  
  
"Why didn't you ever call me? I know I gave you my number," she continued as if Buffy was never there.  
  
"I forgot to take it out of my pocket and I washed my pants. I tried to make out the number, but I kept calling some Chinese guy who didn't speak much English." Angel used the same excuse that Xander told all his one- night stands. "I felt really bad about," he finished.  
  
"Oh. Well why don't you give me your number. I promise I wont forget about it."  
  
Xander walked off, in search of a new date.  
  
"Um.sure." Angel scribbled a fake phone number on a napkin and handed it to her.  
  
She slipped it into her purse. "If you still feel bad about losing my number, I'm sure we could find a way for you to make it up to me."  
  
"Actually, I'm here with my girlfriend."  
  
"Oh," she said and looked out to the dance floor to avoid eye contact. "Isn't that your girlfriend?" She pointed out to the dance floor.  
  
Angel's eyes followed her finger. Buffy was dancing in the middle of a group of drunken guys. She was grinding her hips into one of them as she combed her hand through his hair and slowly made her way toward another guy dressed in blue. She placed her hands on his chest and ran her palms up. She slid her hands over his shoulders and wrapped her arms around his neck. He grabbed her ass and Angel was out of his seat in a second. He marched onto the dance floor and grabbed Buffy's hand.  
  
"Come on, we're going home."  
  
"I'm not ready to leave yet," she said as she yanked her hand back.  
  
This time he grabbed her forearm and pulled her away from the guys, who already had started looking for someone else to dance with anyway. She looked over her shoulder. "Call me," she said to the guys, which just made Angel tighten his grip on her arm. "Let go of me," she said through clenched teeth. Angel ignored her and walked toward the exit. He let her go once they were outside.  
  
"What the hell was that?" he yelled, not caring about the scene he was making.  
  
"I was just having a good time."  
  
"Yeah, if your definition of 'a good time' consists of fucking a bunch of guys on the dance floor!"  
  
"So you're allowed to flirt with some girl in front of me, but I can't dance with a few guys? That makes sense!"  
  
"There's a difference between dancing and screwing and that was a lot more than a few guys!"  
  
"That still doesn't give you a reason to flirt with that girl."  
  
"I wasn't flirting, I was trying to be nice. Buffy, I haven't been to a Greenday concert in three years. I don't have any idea who she is, but I thought it would be a little rude to tell her I don't remember sleeping with her," he said, trying to calm down.  
  
"No, 'cause then she'd realize that you're a major player! You could've at least acknowledged that I was there. Maybe even introduced me."  
  
"You're right, I should have introduced you, but the thought didn't cross my mind. I was too busy trying to get her off my back."  
  
"Please, Angel! Like I didn't see you give her your number!"  
  
"That was a fake!"  
  
"A fake number? How gullible do you think I am?"  
  
"You want to know what I think? I think you have some big trust issues that you need to get figured out. First you read my e-mail, then this. Maybe you're just insecure. I love you. Why would I want to ruin everything we have going?"  
  
Just then his cell phone rang.  
  
"That's probably her. 'Oh Angel, you left me here all by myself. Please come back and I promise you won't regret it," she mimicked. "Go ahead, Angel. Invite her back to your apartment!"  
  
He looked at his phone. "I have to take this call. It's my boss. I'll be right back. We're not finished." He answered the phone and walked off.  
  
"Hey, Angel. It's Rick. Sorry to bother you, but we're taking the kids on a field trip on Tuesday and we need some chaperones."  
  
"Sure, Rick. I'll do it." Angel knew that agreeing would get himself off the phone faster than if he declined.  
  
"Alright. Thanks, man. I'll see you on Monday."  
  
Angel hung up and walked over to where he left Buffy. She wasn't there. "Shit," he mumbled under his breath and went to go look for her.  
Angel had left messages at both his apartment and Buffy's house. He looked everywhere. He even called Cordelia and Willow, who wasn't happy to have him interrupt her date. He knew Buffy wouldn't be found unless she wanted to be. He ended up driving out to the beach where they had their first kiss. He figured he should cool down and he wanted to go somewhere to think. He must've had the same idea as Buffy because when he got there, he found her sitting on a pile of rocks watching the water. He sat down next to her, but didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to apologize and tell her how she was right. He didn't want her walking all over him like that. Maybe when she read his e-mail he'd let her off too easy, but he didn't want to start another fight either. They sat in silence for about ten minutes until he noticed the goosebumps on her arms. He took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She tightened it around herself and leaned her head against him.  
  
"I never thought I'd be the jealous type." She said it as if she was talking to herself.  
  
"We both were jealous tonight. I said some things I didn't mean." He wrapped an arm around her.  
  
"I know. Me too."  
  
"I shouldn't have led Catherine on like I did, but that still didn't give you a reason to dance with those guys."  
  
"I guess.I guess I wanted to make you understand my jealously."  
  
"Do you want to go home?"  
  
Buffy looked down to her lap. "Actually, I think I'm going to go to my house tonight."  
  
Angel was hurt, but he tried to hide it. "That's probably a good idea. I'll drive you."  
It was three in the morning when Angel was woken up by someone knocking on his door. "Coming," he called as he forced himself out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants. He opened the door and found Buffy standing on the other side in her pajamas.  
  
"I changed my mind."  
  
He grinned and motioned her inside. 


	10. Meet The Parents

Buffy sat on a lounge chair on the deck of the pool at Angel's camp. She watched as Angel and another counselor played water polo with a group of kids.  
  
Angel noticed her watching him and flashed her a smile. He made his way past the kids and pulled himself out of the pool. "This is a surprise," he said as he walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss, making sure to be careful in front of the kids. His boss, Rick, was watching them closely.  
  
"What? You're not happy to see me?" She pouted.  
  
"No, I'm just surprised. I thought you were working at the café."  
  
"We closed early. When's your next break?" she asked, watching droplets of water trickle down his chest. She unconsciously licked her lips.  
  
Angel realized what she was looking at and grabbed a Winnie the Pooh towel to dry himself off with. "I have a lunch break in twenty minutes. Think you can wait that long?"  
  
Buffy reached into her bag and pulled out a book.  
  
"What are you reading?" he asked.  
  
"I Know This Much Is True, by Wally Lamb. It's pretty good so far. Now get back to work before I get you in trouble." She nodded her head toward Rick, who was still watching them.  
  
"I'll be back," he said and gave her another quick kiss.  
  
Buffy leaned back and read her book.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Rick blew a whistle and called all the kids out of the pool. After all the kids had changed back into their clothes, another counselor took them back to the playground and Angel sat down next to Buffy.  
  
"Did I get you in trouble?" she asked.  
  
"No. Rick won't care unless a parent sees us. He's cool." He kissed her twice, lightly, before lifting his head to smile at her. "God, I was dying to do that."  
  
"Really?" She smiled flirtatiously.  
  
"Uh huh." He brought his hand up the back of her head and kissed her again while taking the butterfly clip out of her hair.  
  
"Angel, give that back. It's my mom's," she protested. "Come in and get it," he said as he jumped into the pool.  
  
"I can't. I don't have my swimsuit."  
  
"Come on, Buffy, break some rules. Go in your clothes. I'd tell you to go naked, but I like my job."  
  
"What the hell," she mumbled to herself and jumped in after him.  
  
He laughed and put the clip back in her hair perfectly.  
  
She dunked him and he pulled her under with him. He dragged her to the edge of the pool and pinned her against the side. Her arms crept up around his neck and she pressed closer to him, sinking into his warmth as his lips met hers. She angled her head and slipped her tongue into his mouth. His hand, which was resting lightly oh her back, slid down to her waist. She protested when he pulled away, knowing that this wasn't the best place to start a heavy make out session that could lead to other things. He rested his forehead against hers and raised a brow suggestively. "Nice shirt." He looked away politely.  
  
"Oh God," Buffy said, looking down at her wet, white t-shirt. She covered her chest with her arms.  
  
"I have some extra clothes in my locker," he said as he lifted himself out of the pool and helped her out. He handed her the towel he had used earlier.  
  
Angel pulled and extra "Staff" shirt out of his locker and handed it to Buffy. "I don't have any pants for you, but give me your shirt and I'll put it in the dryer."  
  
"Why do you guys have a dryer?" She stripped off her shirt and replaced it with Angel's. She smiled at its scent.  
  
"I'm not sure, but we have a washer too."  
  
She leaned against a nearby locker as he changed. "I actually came here for a reason. My dad wants to meet you. He saw the hickey that you left on my neck," she explained.  
  
"That makes a great first impression," he said sarcastically.  
  
"He wants you to come over for dinner. He's having his girlfriend over too."  
  
"Yeah, I'll do it. When?"  
  
"Tonight." "Your dad wants to meet me tonight?" He was slightly annoyed that Buffy hadn't given him an advanced warning.  
  
"Yeah. He's leaving for Boston in the morning and we're going to L.A. next weekend. You can make it right? I kind of told him that you could." She looked at him hopefully.  
  
"Yeah, but you owe me."  
  
"I'm sure I can find a way to make it up to you." She kissed him.  
  
"This one's cute," Willow said. She was helping Buffy pick out a dress for her date with Angel and Mr. Giles.  
  
Buffy looked at the tiny, low cut, red dress. "This is a dinner with my dad, Will. We're not going to a strip club."  
  
"You're right if you were going to a strip club, we'd have to find you something that's easier to take off. Try it on."  
  
"Fine, but I'm not buying it." Buffy made her way to the dressing room.  
  
Three minutes later, Buffy came out wearing the dress.  
  
"It's perfect!" Willow squealed.  
  
"It barely covers my ass!"  
  
"Buffy! Where'd you learn that word?" Willow gasped. Buffy rolled her eyes in response, but Willow ignored her. "Angel's going to lose it!"  
  
"Speaking or which," Buffy smiled, "how'd things go with Oz the other night?"  
  
"God, don't remind me. He barely kissed me. I tired to push him, but he said he wants to wait until marriage. Maybe he's not worth it."  
  
"Willow, you can't give up. You've worked so hard."  
  
"Yeah, but I don't want to end up like Angel. No offence, but he's been with you for like six months and still hasn't gotten anywhere. You're giving him blue balls."  
  
Buffy blushed and looked away.  
  
"Oh my God, you slept with Angel!"  
  
"It's only been four months," Buffy mumbled.  
  
"Buffy, you little slut! You had sex with Angel! Don't worry, I won't tell."  
  
"Maybe, a little."  
  
"A little? You guys are always fucking! That's why you're never at the Bronze anymore."  
  
"We went last week," she said defensively.  
  
"Before you, Angel used to go almost every night. So, how was it?"  
  
"We're not talking about this," Buffy said, trying to end the conversation.  
  
"Yes, we are. I want details."  
  
"It was nice, I guess."  
  
"Just nice? Please, we're talking about the best sex you'll ever have."  
  
"Okay, It was killer!" She smiled. "If you've already slept with him, why are you asking me?"  
  
"It's been a while, he might have learned some new tricks. Tell me more."  
  
"He was so. I don't know. gentle."  
  
"Gentle? We are talking about the same Angel right? Wow, you must really have him whipped. I still can't believe you had sex with Angel! I can't wait to tell Xander!"  
  
Buffy shot her a warning look.  
  
"I'm just kidding."  
  
"That one's perfect." Buffy walked over to a light blue dress.  
  
"I like the red one better."  
  
Buffy ignored her and headed into the dressing to try it on.  
  
Buffy opened the door, wearing her new blue dress, with Angel's cross necklace, and blue flip-flops. All together, she looked sweet and innocent. "Angel, hey. Come in." She stepped out of the doorway and let him in. "You look amazing." He smiled.  
  
"So do you," she said, taking in his burgundy, button up shirt and black pants.  
  
He gave her a quick peck, not sure is her dad was watching and handed her a single red rose.  
  
She smiled. "You are so trying to impress my dad," she said.  
  
"I thought about getting him a flower too, but that might have been a little weird," he joked.  
  
"Yeah, it's more of a mom thing. You ready for the big introduction?"  
  
"Let's get it over with."  
  
She took his hand and led him into the kitchen. "Dad, this is Angel."  
  
"Hello, Angel." Rupert held out his hand and Angel shook it.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Giles."  
  
Buffy smiled at the fact that Angel had remembered her father had a different last name that her. "So far, so good," she mumbled to herself. "And behind my father is -."  
  
Rupert's girlfriend stepped out from behind him with a shocked expression on her face. Angel was the last person she expected Buffy to be with.  
  
"Ms. Calendar," Angel interrupted.  
  
"You know Jenny?"  
  
"Yeah, Ms. Calendar taught my computer science class senior year."  
  
"Angel was one of my best students," she said after deciding to give him a chance before she told Rupert about him.  
  
Both Buffy and Angel were relieved that she hadn't yet mentioned his reputation at the high school.  
  
"Dinner's ready," Rupert announced as he carried the dish of spaghetti into the dining room. "Buffy, can you bring the salad?"  
  
"I'll get it," Angel offered.  
  
"That's very nice of you," Jenny said, although Rupert didn't seem impressed.  
  
Buffy put the Rose in a vase and placed it in the center of the table.  
  
"So Angel, how old are you?" Rupert asked. "You look a lot older than Buffy."  
  
"I'm twenty-one." He silently cursed the question. "This is really great sauce. Did you make it yourself?" Angel tried to change the subject.  
  
"It's from a can," Mr. Giles responded dryly. "Do you go to college?"  
  
"Next year Angel will be a junior at UC Sunnydale," Buffy proudly responded for him.  
  
"UC Sunnydale? Did you have anything to do with Buffy's decision to go to the same college as yourself?"  
  
"No, sir. If anything, I discouraged it. Buffy's a smart girl; she's so much better than Sunnydale.  
  
"You don't support her decision?"  
  
"If it's something that she really wants then I support her one hundred percent."  
  
"Is this something that she really wants?"  
  
"I think you should ask her that."  
  
"It is," Buffy answered quickly. "Angel, will you pass the ranch?"  
  
He handed her the salad dressing.  
  
"Do you have a job?" Rupert asked, continuing his questioning.  
  
" I work at a day camp."  
  
"You like kids?"  
  
"Yeah, I think they're great."  
  
"Do you plan on having any?"  
  
Angel nearly choked on his water. "Maybe eventually, when I'm married and have a good job, I'll start thinking about having kids."  
  
"And when do you plan on getting married?"  
  
"Well, I want to finish school first and be able to support a family. It wont be anytime in the near future."  
  
"How long do you plan on dating Buffy?"  
  
Angel glanced around the room nervously. "Well, uh, it's still to soon to think about anything serious. I guess right now, we'll just have to see where things take us," he stuttered over the longevity of their relationship.  
  
"Are you going to ask her to marry you?"  
  
Buffy put her hand on Angel's knee. "You don't have to answer that."  
  
"It's alright," he looked at her reassuringly. "I would be honored to marry Buffy, but if it happens, it will be a long time from now, when I'm financially secure and can support her."  
  
"You don't think she will be able to support herself?"  
  
"Dad, stop! I need to talk to you in private." She stood up. "Now!"  
  
"We're in the middle of dinner. Can't this wait?"  
  
"No, it can't," she said as she stormed into the kitchen.  
  
"Will you excuse me?" Rupert asked.  
  
"Of course," Angel responded politely.  
  
Rupert followed Buffy.  
  
"What do you think you're doing in there? Don't you see how uncomfortable you're making him? Why can't you at least try to like my boyfriend?" she yelled angrily.  
  
"Are you having sex with him?" he asked, ignoring her questions.  
  
"What? That's none of your business! You're in my life for a few months and already you feel like you have the right to question me about my sex life!"  
  
"Buffy, there's only one reason college boys date high school girls."  
  
"No, I'm not having this conversation with you. Not now, not ever!"  
  
Angel sat across from Jenny. He twirled his fork in his spaghetti, uncomfortably. They could clearly hear the entire conversation going on in the kitchen.  
  
"This night's not going too well for you, is it?" Jenny said, breaking the awkward silence.  
  
"Is it really that obvious?"  
  
"I know Rupert may not be the world's greatest father, but he loves Buffy very much and it would kill him to see her get hurt. I'm going to make a deal with you. I won't tell him about your reputation if you promise not to break her heart."  
  
"I would never hurt her."  
  
"So we have a deal?"  
  
He smiled. "Yeah, we do."  
  
Buffy sat with Angel on her porch swing. He had one arm wrapped around her and she was leaning her head against his shoulder. After Rupert and Buffy had returned they finished their dinner in silence. Rupert went to his study to sulk and Jenny followed him, leaving Buffy and Angel to clean the dishes. After they finished, they went outside for a little fresh air.  
  
"That could have gone worse," Angel said.  
  
"Yeah, he could have questioned you about our sex life," she said causing him to laugh.  
  
He kissed the top of her head and they rocked back and forth, enjoying the comfortable silence. 


	11. Not So Happily Ever After

Angel stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He looked in the mirror and poured some gel into his hands. He rubbed them together and ran them through his hair, spiking it. Once he was satisfied, he opened the bathroom door and entered his bedroom in search of clothes. He didn't notice the woman sitting in a chair by the door.  
  
"Hello Angel," she said seductively.  
  
He jumped at the voice, but didn't turn around to face her. He already knew who it was. "Darla, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Can't a girl pay an old friend a visit?"  
  
"We were never friends."  
  
She smiled. "That's right, we were lovers."  
  
He turned around to face her. "How'd you get in here?"  
  
"You never did remember to lock the back door."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"That was rude," she said, fingering with a button on her shirt.  
  
"Since when do you care about manners?"  
  
"You could at least pretend to be happy to see me, Angel. I miss you." She stood and walked over to him.  
  
"If I'm remembering correctly, you were the one who cheated on me," he said, giving her an annoyed look.  
  
"You know, I figured you of all people would believe in giving second chances."  
  
"Only to people who deserve them."  
  
"Like who? Your precious Barbie doll?"  
  
His fists clenched. "Leave her out of this," he replied sternly.  
  
"Speaking of the brat, where is she? I thought you two were attached at the hip."  
  
"Her name's Buffy and she's visiting some friends in L.A. Why do you care?"  
  
Darla placed her hands on the top of his towel, which was resting below his hips, exposing his pelvic bones.  
  
"So, we're alone then?"  
  
He didn't respond. His mind was is complete turmoil. He loved Buffy, but a part of his anatomy was screaming for Darla. How could he not want her? She was hot, willing and he knew what she was capable of.  
  
Darla was well aware of his arousal and she used it to her advantage when she slid her hand underneath the towel. She used her other hand to pull his head down to hers. She placed her lips on his, but was hesitant at first, not sure what his next move would be.  
  
Angel knew what he was doing was wrong, but he didn't pull away. He never kissed her back, but let her ravish his mouth. If she would pull her hand away from his erection and stop teasing him, he would have the will to stop her, but she continued to tease and he let her.  
  
She pulled away when she needed air. "Can your blonde bimbo make you feel this good?" she breathed.  
  
Angel was brought back to his senses when she mentioned Buffy. "Stay away from her."  
  
"Won't she be pleased to hear about this encounter of ours?"  
  
"I said, stay away from her." His anger was building up fast along with his guilt.  
  
"I can't wait to see her face when she finds out who you chose in the end."  
  
He smacked her across the face before he had time to register what he was doing.  
  
"You motherfucker!" She screamed and charged at him, throwing wild punches. "Nobody hits me!"  
  
He grabbed her wrists, knowing that she would hurt herself if he didn't stop her. "Calm down."  
  
"Let go of me!" She tried to jerk away from him, but his grip was too strong.  
  
"Calm down first."  
  
She stopped fighting him. Her breathing was still irregular and her chest was heaving, but she was relaxing. "I'm calm, now let go."  
  
He loosened his grip, but didn't completely let go. "You're going to leave and you're going to stay away from both Buffy and me. You'll stop e- mailing, calling, and threatening my girlfriend. Stay away from my friends and don't ever let me see you again. Got it?" She was shaking and tears were streaming down her face, but he refused to be sympathetic. She'd fucked up his life too much for him to feel anything but hatered towards her. He let go of her wrists. "Leave."  
  
She backed away, picked up her purse and walked out, leaving him standing alone in the room, wearing only a towel, staring after her.  
  
"Coming," Xander called after the doorbell rang for the third time. He opened the door while juggling Tiffany on his hip.  
  
Angel was surprised to see Xander holding his daughter and if this had been under different circumstances, he would've been laughing his ass off at the sight.  
  
"Hey, man. How's it going?" Xander moved out of the doorway and let him in.  
  
"I need your advice," Angel stated flatly.  
  
"Sure, with what?"  
  
"Buffy."  
  
Xander held up his free hand in mock defeat. "I don't think I'm the greatest person to be helping you out with this. Do you remember the last serious girlfriend I had?"  
  
Angel tried to remember Xander being with one girl for a long period of time. "No."  
  
"Exactly, 'cause there's never been one."  
  
"I don't know who else to ask."  
  
"Okay, let me put Tiff down then I'll try to help you. You want a beer or something?"  
  
"Yeah. Whatever you have is fine."  
  
Xander came back a few minutes later with two beer bottles in his hand.  
  
"Is Cordy okay with that?"  
  
"With what?"  
  
"You drinking when you're watching Tiffany."  
  
"What she doesn't know can't hurt her. So, what's going on with you and your girl?"  
  
"You kissed Darla?" Xander asked in shock after Angel had finished explaining what had happened. He left out what Darla was doing while they kissed.  
  
"Sort of. She kissed me."  
  
"To Buffy, it's not going to make a difference."  
  
"I know. Should I tell her?" Angel knew what the answer was going to be, but he was dreading to hear it.  
  
"I think so. If she forgives you, then maybe she's the one. If she doesn't, then there'll be another girl someday."  
  
Angel's cell phone rang and he flipped it open. "Yeah?"  
  
"You really need to work on your phone manners," said a cheerful voice.  
  
"It's her," Angel mouthed to Xander. "Hey. How's L.A.?"  
  
"It was alright. I just got home."  
  
"Already? I though you were staying there for a few more days." He tried not to sound disappointed. He'd planned on a few more days to think about what he'd say to her.  
  
"No, my dad has to go to Minneapolis in a few days so we came home early to give him some time to rest. Are you guys going to be at The Bronze tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so."  
  
"Great. I'll see you tonight then?"  
  
"Actually, it's your first night back, so why don't we go somewhere by ourselves?" Angel tried to sound as casual as possible.  
  
"Sure, where?"  
  
"Maybe to dinner or something. I'll pick you up at seven."  
  
"Okay, I'll see you then. I love you."  
  
"Yeah, I, uh, love you too." He hung up the phone and looked at Xander. "I have to go figure out how I'm going to tell her. I'll see you later."  
  
"Good luck."  
  
"Thanks," he said and helped himself out.  
  
Angel's black jeep pulled up to Buffy's driveway at exactly seven. He'd already screwed up and he didn't want to make it worse, even though he doubted she would be mad if he wasn't on time. When he got to her house, she was waiting outside. He got out of the car and made his way over to her.  
  
"Hey." He wrapped his long arms all the way around her. He was nervous she would notice something if he kissed her.  
  
"Hi. I missed you."  
  
"I missed you too. Are you ready to go?" He opened the passenger door for her.  
  
The drive to the restaurant was uncomfortably quiet. Buffy had sensed Angel's edginess, but figured he was just having a bad day or something. "Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said a little too quickly.  
  
"Your hands..."  
  
Angel looked at his hands. He was gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white and when he loosened his grip, his fingers ached. "It's nothing."  
  
Buffy turned on the radio to loosen him up, but it didn't work. She flipped through the stations.  
  
"Just pick something," Angel snapped after she had gone through all the stations at least three times. He didn't care what she picked as long as it was something constant.  
  
"Fine." She settled on Celion Dion. "Someone's got issues," she mumbled to herself.  
  
He reached for her hand. "Sorry for snapping. I've been really stressed out." He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, hoping he'd open up to her.  
  
"I'll tell you later. Let's just enjoy our dinner." He forced a smile. "What did you do in L.A.?"  
  
"I hung out with my friend Meredith most of the time. She went to Hemrey with me. We did lots of shopping. The Sunnydale Mall is nothing compared to the ones they have in L.A. My dad dragged me to one of his business parties which wasn't so much fun, but otherwise he let me go off by myself while he worked. Anything new in Sunnydale?"  
  
"Um, just the usual," he lied. "Tell me more about L.A." He wanted their conversation to stay far away from talking about what he did when she was gone.  
  
"There's not that much to say."  
  
"Okay, tell me more about the malls." He was becoming desperate to keep her talking. He knew that if he started saying too much, he would stutter or say something stupid and she would know something wasn't right. He knew this could his last date with her and he wanted to make it last as long as possible.  
  
"They're big with lots of stores and lots of people. Why would you care about a mall?"  
  
"I, uh, need to buy some shirts." He knew she would never believe him, but it was the only thing he could think of.  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
Angel pulled the car into a parking spot in front of Yano's  
Pizza.  
  
Dinner was mostly the same as the car ride except Angel gave up on not talking and he told about everything that happened before Darla's visit. Half the time Buffy was talking to him, he wasn't listening. Not because she was boring, but because he was still trying to decide how and when he was going to tell her about kissing Darla. She asked him if everything was okay at least three times. By the time they finished their pizza, he still hadn't told her.  
  
"I don't want to go home yet," he said as they walked out to his car.  
  
"You want to go park at Lover's Point?" She asked with a seductive grin.  
  
"No, let's take a walk."  
  
"I'd rather park somewhere."  
  
"So would I, but we need to talk," he took her hand and they walked down the sidewalk.  
  
They walked about a block without saying anything. "Wow, this is a lot of talking," she said sarcastically.  
  
"Let's sit down," he said and walked over to a bench. She sat down next to him. "I didn't tell you everything that happened while you were gone," he started. "Darla came to my apartment yesterday and I- she kissed me." There. He'd finally said it.  
  
Buffy just looked at him, biting her lip. This wasn't happening. Angel would never go back to his ex. At least that's what he'd always told her. "No." She shook her head slightly. "You're lying." Her eyes filled up with tears and she tried to stop them from falling.  
  
"I wish I was, believe me, I wish I was. It was a one time thing that meant nothing."  
  
"That doesn't mean it didn't happen. All this time you said that you didn't care about her anymore, you lied to me."  
  
"Buffy, I don't care about her. I told her to get lost. We'll never see her again."  
  
"Then why'd you kiss her?"  
  
He didn't know what to say. Everything he could think of would only hurt her more.  
  
"That's what I thought. You could have told her to get lost a long time ago. You just needed one final fuck didn't you?" she shot angrily. All she could think about was how much she hated him. She wanted to make him as miserable as he had made her.  
  
"It was nothing like that. I stopped her from going any further."  
  
"Oh, okay. Well, everything's all right now. You only kissed her. That doesn't count as cheating on me," she said sarcastically. The tears were now streaming down her face. "You know Angel, you're just as bad as her. She cheated on you and now you've cheated on me. I should've listened to what everybody said about you." She got up to leave.  
  
He grabbed her arm. "Buffy, I love you."  
  
"Go to hell."  
  
Her words hit him like a thousand knives and he let her go, knowing that she could possibly be walking out of his life forever. 


	12. Betrayal

Xander entered The Bronze and searched the crowd for Anya, his current date. When he saw Buffy sitting at a table by herself, he knew what had happened. He decided he'd take Buffy over Anya any day and made his way over to her table. "What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?" he asked, grinning.  
  
"Xander, not now," she said, brushing him off and looking away. All she wanted was to be alone. She didn't think she could deal with Xander at the moment.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked even though he already knew the answer. Instead of leaving, he pulled out a chair and sat down.  
  
She looked up, surprised that he would care. "Angel and I… I think we broke up."  
  
"You want to tell me about it? Let me go get some drinks. I'll be right back." He got up and walked over to the bar before she had a chance to answer.  
  
She thought about getting up and leaving. She knew that Xander was bad news, but she didn't care. She liked that someone cared, or at least pretended to. It comforted her.  
  
Buffy woke up in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. Her entire body ached. She had a throbbing headache and her stomach was turning constantly. She rolled over only to find Xander lying next to her, naked. "Oh God," she mumbled, noticing that she was also nude. She closed her eyes, praying that this was only a dream and she would wake up in her own bed or in Angel's apartment with his arms wrapped around her. Who was she kidding? She could remember everything. Angel had cheated on her and she had left him alone on the bench. She'd gone to The Bronze to clear her mind and be alone. She should've known that The Bronze was the most likely place to run into Xander or someone else, but she wasn't thinking about that at the time. She'd just figured that the loud music would drown any thoughts of Angel and Darla. Xander had come up and offered to buy her a drink. She'd accepted and soon one drink turned into two. She'd poured her heart out to him around the forth and at the sixth, he'd offered to take her home. He'd taken her to his home instead of hers, where she discovered he lived in his parents' basement. They talked for a while, and he kissed her. At first, she didn't know how to respond. She couldn't get the image of Angel and Darla out of her head. She hated him with every fiber of her being. She wanted to hurt him like he'd hurt her. Xander moved her over to the bed. He began to take off her clothes and… oh God. She swallowed back a wave of nausea and looked for something to wear. She spotted her clothes at the other side of the room, but didn't feel comfortable walking that far naked in front of Xander. She reached for his shirt at the foot of the bed. It wasn't as big of Angel's, but it still covered her. She remembered how Angel's shirt was warm and comforted her. Xander's shirt was cold from lying in the basement all night. She'd never felt more alone. She hurried to the bathroom, trying not to trip over the clothes and baby toys scattered across the floor. She just made it to the bathroom in time before she started retching, throwing up last night's pizza.  
  
"Don't make a mess," Xander called groggily from the bedroom.  
  
She remembered the night Xander had spiked her drink. Angel had stayed up with her all night, holding her hair back as her head hovered over the toilet. She knew someone like Xander would never do that. Xander would never be half the gentleman Angel was, but it was better to have someone than no one.  
  
Two days had passed since Angel had told Buffy about Darla. He was almost positive they were over, but he was hanging on to the little bit of hope that she'd forgive him. He originally planned on giving her more time to make up her mind, but he didn't think he could wait any longer. She was all he could think about. He'd spent the past two days with a bottle of Tequila replaying their last date over in his mind. He'd made so many mistakes in their relationship, but she'd always forgiven him. He doubted she'd give him a second chance this time. He promised himself that if she did, he'd make everything perfect again. He rounded the corner into the alley near the vacant warehouse. His eyes adjusted to the change in light in the dim alleyway. Angel could make out a solitary figure leaning against the wall of the warehouse, glowing embers of a cigarette hovered near his mouth. He slowed his strides to a walk as he neared the bleached blonde.  
  
"Hey, mate."  
  
"Hi, Spike. Have you seen Buffy?" Angel asked when he recognized his friend's familiar English accent.  
  
"Oh man, I thought you knew." Spike dropped his cigarette and put it with the ball of his foot.  
  
"Knew what?"  
  
"Xander shagged her. It's all he's been talking about for the last two days."  
  
"What?" Angel's fist slammed into the wall, barely missing Spike's head.  
  
"Hey, don't kill the messenger!"  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"Look mate, why don't you go home and cool off first. Have a cold beer."  
  
"I've had enough cold beers. Where the hell is he?"  
  
"I don't know man."  
  
Angel was out of control. He grabbed the collar of Spike's jacket and pushed him into the wall.  
  
Spike's heart rate quickened and his breath became sharp. He knew Angel could kick his ass in a split second. "He's probably at The Bronze, but that's just a guess. I swear I haven't seen him," Spike said quickly, afraid Angel would do something rash. He had only seen Angel like this twice; when he walked in on Darla sleeping with another man and when he discovered he wouldn't be able to come up with the money to attend the New York City School of Visual Arts, something he had dreamed about all his life.  
  
Angel shoved him into the wall one last time before storming off.  
  
"Jesus Christ," Spike muttered once Angel was out of earshot.  
  
Buffy had just gone off to the bathroom when Angel entered The Bronze. He instantly made his way over to Xander who was sitting at a table with Cordelia, Tiffany, Willow and Oz.  
  
"What the fuck do you think your doing?" Angel asked through clenched teeth.  
  
"I'm having a few drinks with my friends. What are you doing?" Xander answered sarcastically, knowing that that wasn't what Angel meant.  
  
"Stay the hell away from her," Angel demanded.  
  
"Oh, you mean Buffy," he said. "Listen, I don't need your permission. I'll fuck whoever the hell I want to fuck."  
  
Angel was fuming. "What did you have to do to get her in bed with you? Did you completely drug her up or just spike her drink again?"  
  
Angel's comments stung. Xander knew he was right, but he refused to show Angel he was hurt. "You know what the big shocker was? When I rammed my cock into her, she didn't bleed. I wasn't the one who popped her cherry."  
  
Angel threw a punch straight for his face. Xander's stool tipped back, with him in it and he jumped out before it hit the floor. Angel slammed him into the small table and it fell to the ground, extremely close to where Tiffany was sleeping in her stroller.  
  
"My baby!" Cordelia screamed and grabbed her daughter.  
  
After she finished applying her make up, Buffy walked out of the bathroom and back to her table. Instead of finding the table like she left it with her friends and Tiffany, she found it was surrounded by a large crowd. She pushed her way through the people and discovered their table had been knocked over and chairs were scattered. Angel had a struggling Xander pinned to the ground and was violently throwing punches straight for his face. Blood was running down from Angel's nose, but he either didn't notice or refused to care. Xander tried to cover his face with his hands, but Angel kneed him in the stomach, causing him to curl up in pain. Angel swore under his breath, but his cursing wasn't audible enough for Buffy to hear exactly what he was saying. She rushed in to stop the fight.  
  
"Knock it off, both of you!" she yelled.  
  
They ignored her and continued to fight. She grabbed Angel's arm just as he was about to throw another punch. When he saw her pleading eyes, he stood up and jerked his arm away. He gave Xander, who was still lying on the floor, a hard kick in the groin before stepping away.  
  
"You've got…" Buffy made a gesture toward her nose.  
  
Angel wiped the blood with the back of his hand. He used his other hand to reach out and brush a strand of hair out of her face, but she stepped away. "Why Xander?" he asked.  
  
"You know, this is really immature! You don't own me, Angel. Who I sleep with is none of your business anymore. Go home." She turned around and helped Xander up. His face was swollen and cut up. "You're bleeding." She touched a cut on his eyebrow.  
  
"I'm fine." Xander said, brushing her off.  
  
Angel made eye contact with Buffy and walked off. 


	13. Love Is Hell

Author's Note: Xander did not spike Buffy's drink in the last chapter. He offered her an alcoholic drink and she accepted. Sorry for making that unclear.  
  
As Angel entered Cool Beans, the door chimed.  
  
Buffy looked toward the door when she heard the sound. Before Angel could approach her, she hurried to the bathroom.  
  
Angel sat down at one of the tables and waited for her to return.  
  
"Welcome to Cool Beans. What can I get you today?" A brunette waitress flashed him a flirtatious smile.  
  
Angel glanced at her nametag. "Actually Faith, I'm looking for Buffy."  
  
"She's in the bathroom. Can I get you something while you're waiting?"  
  
"No, thanks. Can you tell her I'm here?"  
  
"Of course," Faith said and walked off.  
  
"B, there's a guy here asking for you," Faith said, entering the bathroom.  
  
"Can you take care of it? I don't want to talk to him," Buffy said, looking at her reflection in the mirror.  
  
"Yes you do. He's hot!"  
  
Buffy forced a smile and begrudgingly left to go deal with Angel.  
  
"Welcome to Cool Beans. What can I get for you?" She refused to look at him.  
  
"We need to talk," he said plainly.  
  
"No we don't. Are you going to order something?" She replied with a hint of irritation in her voice.  
  
"God dammit, Buffy, cut the waitress act!"  
  
"I am a waitress, Angel. It's my job. If you're not a customer, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We need to keep the tables open for customers."  
  
Angel looked around. "I'm the only one here."  
  
"And you're not a customer. The exit's that way." She pointed toward the door.  
  
"I'll have a cappuccino." He smiled sarcastically. Something caught his eye and his smirk immediately faded. She was still wearing his cross necklace.  
  
Buffy noticed him staring at her chest and looked down. The necklace had fallen out of its hiding place. She quickly slipped it back underneath her shirt. "I'll have that cappuccino ready for you in a second," she said, walking off.  
  
Three hours had gone by and Buffy still refused to talk to him. Angel was on his sixth cup of coffee. He'd switched to decaf after the fourth when he could no longer sit still. He was still extremely jittery.  
  
"We're closing," Faith announced to him and another couple who was sitting at the other side of the café.  
  
"I need to talk to Buffy," Angel said, refusing to leave.  
  
"Look, it's been four hours and the only time she's talked to you is when she was taking your order. We're closing so you can't stay here. If you still think you can get her to talk to you, you can wait for her outside."  
  
Angel got up and dropped a twenty on the table. "Keep the change," he said as he started to walk off.  
  
"Buffy's making a big mistake," she said after him.  
  
Angel turned around.  
  
"You seem like a really great guy. Just give her some time; she'll come to her senses."  
  
He gave her a sad smile and walked out. The door chimed as it closed behind him.  
  
Faith turned around and looked at Buffy who was standing behind the counter with her back turned. She pretended to be washing dishes. "Hey B, you okay?"  
  
Buffy just nodded her head, trying to hide her tears from her friend.  
  
"You want to talk about it?"  
  
She quickly dried her eyes with the back of her hand and turned around. "I loved him, we broke up, end of story."  
  
"There's more to it than that. I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it."  
  
"I slept with his best friend."  
  
"Oh," Faith said, not sure how to respond. "It looks to me like he's willing to give you a second chance," she said, smiling.  
  
"I don't deserve a second chance, Faith." Buffy turned back around and finished drying the dishes. She thought she'd be strong enough to talk about it, but she wasn't. Not yet.  
  
"Why don't you let me finish this?" She gestured toward the dishes in Buffy's hand. "I can lock up tonight."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah, go home and get some sleep. You look like death run over twice."  
  
"Thanks," Buffy smiled and took off her apron. She hung it up on the coat rack and grabbed her purse. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye," Faith said, watching her walk through the door as it chimed.  
  
Angel was sitting on the hood of his car when Buffy started to walk home. It had started to rain, but he didn't mind. He liked looking up and watching the drops come down on him. He jumped off his car when he saw her walk by. He got in the car and drove to the corner where he could cut her off. Then he parked and got out.  
  
"Angel, please just leave me alone," she said when she spotted him waiting for her.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that." He walked up to her so he was only standing inches away, his size dwarfing her.  
  
"Well, you're going to have to. I can't have you following me everywhere. Don't you get it? We're over. We were over the second you kissed her."  
  
"I can't accept that. I made a mistake, we both did. So what? People make mistakes. There has to be some way we can get through this."  
  
"I don't think there is. I don't know how I can trust you again. You lied to me." She took a step to the side, trying to walk around him, but he moved in front of her, blocking her.  
  
"Please, just try," he begged.  
  
"I can't, Angel."  
  
"I miss you and it's driving me crazy. I miss how you'd come to visit me at work, how you've never missed an episode of "Friends," how you fold the comforter over whenever you make the bed. God, I even miss the vanilla scented candles you put in my bathroom!" The lump in his throat kept him from continuing.  
  
"You think I don't miss you? You think my feelings for Xander will ever be anything compared to what I felt for you? News flash Angel, they're not! You want to know why I chose Xander? Because I could hurt you the most with him! I'm not over you. I don't know if I'll ever be, but I'm working on it and maybe you should be too."  
  
He looked away. "If you had to sleep with someone, I'm glad it was Xander. You showed me what kind of friend he was. You know for years I thought we were best friends. You have no idea how much shit I've taken for him. I was supposed to go to a big art school in New York, but I couldn't because I spent my tuition money bailing him out of jail. Going to that school was my dream, but now I go to UC Sunnydale. I guess what I really want to say is, thank you for showing you what kind of person he really is."  
  
"Don't do this, Angel." She shook her head. "Don't try to make me feel bad for you, because you don't deserve my pity. After my mom died, I closed up, but you were the one person I let in and you hurt me more than I thought possible. You should be thankful I'm talking to you right now because I can guarantee this will be the last conversation we ever have."  
  
The rain started to fall harder and was pounding into the ground. It had flattened Angel's hair and straightened Buffy's. The water was dripping down both of their bodies and their clothes were soaked.  
  
"Let me give you a ride home," he said, knowing the conversation wasn't over, but not wanting to continue outside where anyone could watch.  
  
"I'm fine walking. I like the rain," she replied stubbornly.  
  
"If you let me drive you home, I promise that I won't bother you again." He hoped that he'd be able to change her mind about their relationship during the short car ride to her house.  
  
"You're saying that if I let you drive me home, you'll leave me alone?"  
  
He nodded. "If that's what you want."  
  
"It is."  
  
He opened the door for her and helped her into his car before getting in on the drivers side. He put the car in drive and headed towards her house. "You'd think we'd be mature adults about this," he said.  
  
"I don't think either of us are very good at being adults."  
  
He smiled. "No, we aren't are we? Speaking of which, what are you going to do for your birthday?"  
  
"I don't know. I think I might go out to dinner with my dad. I'm not doing anything big."  
  
"You're turning eighteen. That's pretty big."  
  
"I don't like birthdays. They tend to suck."  
  
"Why?" He knew small talk would never win her back, but it was better than fighting again.  
  
"My birthday is the anniversary of when my parents split. It's an entirely unwanted reminder." She looked out the window as they passed a couple walking their dog and holding a large green umbrella.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, fighting the temptation to pull her into his arms and comfort her the same way he had done so many times before.  
  
Ten minutes later, he pulled into her driveway. The car ride hadn't gone anything like he planned. After she told him about her parents' break up, he didn't feel it was the right time to try and talk her into giving him a second chance. "I wish we didn't have to end like this."  
  
"Summer flings never last. We were stupid to think we had anything more than that."  
  
Angel reached over to the back seat and grabbed a large packing box. "Here's all your stuff." He handed the box to her.  
  
Buffy looked inside it. Mostly it was filled with clothes and toiletries. On the top was the picture of her and her mother he had borrowed to make her graduation present, and a stuffed pig. She picked the pig out of the box. "I don't want this," she said and shoved it into his hands.  
  
"It's Mr. Gordo," he replied, confused.  
  
"I know. Goodbye, Angel," she said and opened the car door.  
  
He leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Bye, love," he said so quietly it was almost a whisper.  
  
Buffy got out of the car and closed the door behind her.  
  
Angel sat there long after she had gone inside, staring at the pig in his hands. 


	14. Shelter Me, Comfort Me

Angel was woken up by a loud knock on his door. He reached for the digital clock on his nightstand, knocking over a beer bottle in the process. 3:37 AM. He groaned and rolled over, trying to go back to sleep. The second knock was even louder than the first. "Coming," he called and forced himself out of bed. He grabbed the wrinkled black pants off the floor and pulled them on. When he got to the door, he unlocked it and cracked it open. "Buffy?" It had been two weeks since he'd promised to stay out of her life and he had. She was the last person he'd expected.  
  
Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying. She had a cut across her cheek. "Can I stay here for a little while? I'll understand if you don't want me to."  
  
"Absolutely," he said and opened the door wider to let her inside.  
  
She walked straight into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and barying her face into his chest, seeking comfort. She sucked in a breath, inhaling his familiar aftershave.  
  
He was confused be her actions. After all, the last he saw her, she told him to leave her alone. He hugged her back and she let out a hiss of pain. Angel instantly pulled out of her arms. He started to unbutton her red jean jacket, trying to find where she was hurt.  
  
She held the jacket closed, knowing all she had underneath was a bra. Xander was asleep when she had left, not wanting to wake him, she had just slipped on undergarments, pants and a jacket before leaving.  
  
Angel lightly touched her face. "You don't have to hide from me," he said softly.  
  
She released the jacket, exposing the tops of her bruised breasts and stomach.  
  
"Jesus," he whispered under his breath and lightly ran his fingers over one of the bruises.  
  
Buffy closed her jacket. "Can I use your shower?"  
  
"Of course. The towel on the rack is clean."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Buffy, do you need any help? I mean, you're not in the greatest condition and I don't want you hurt, well at least not anymore that you already are." He tried to correct his question, knowing that it came out completely different than how he meant for it to sound.  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
When Buffy emerged from the bathroom, Angel was laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. "Can I borrow some clothes, mine are kind of beat up," she said, holding the towel tightly around herself.  
  
Angel got off the bed and walked over to his dresser where he pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.  
  
"You kept Mr. Gordo," she said, when she saw the pig on his dresser as she sat down on the bed.  
  
"He makes good company." He handed her the clothes. "They're a little big."  
  
Buffy took the clothes and stared at him expectantly.  
  
"Sorry." Angel turned around to face the wall while she changed.  
  
"You can turn around now," she said after she'd finished.  
  
Angel sat down on the bed next to her. "Tell me what happened."  
  
Buffy shook her head and looked away. All she wanted was for Angel to wrap his arms around her and comfort her, not deal with the reality of what had happened.  
  
Angel knew she wasn't in any state to argue. "Okay. You should get some sleep. You can tell me in the morning."  
  
He helped her lie down and pulled the sheet up to her neck. "I'll be on the couch if you need anything," he said and started to walk out.  
  
"Angel?"  
  
"Yeah?" He turned around.  
  
"Stay with me?"  
  
He gave her a sad smile. "Sure." He walked around to his side of the bed, stripped off his pants and lay down in his boxers. He gently wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her wet hair.  
  
"Thanks for letting me stay here. I know you're pretty disgusted with me right now."  
  
"Buffy, I'm not disgusted with you. Don't ever think that," he said, propping himself up on his elbow to look at her.  
  
"How can you forgive me after everything I did to you?"  
  
"I don't care about that anymore. All that matters to me right now is that you're okay. Go to sleep. We can talk about this in the morning." He watched her close her eyes and press her head against his chest before allowing himself to drift asleep.  
  
The next day, both of them slept far into the afternoon. Angel was the first to wake up, but he lay in bed reading until she woke up. "What are you reading?" She asked, her eyes still closed.  
  
"Dante. How's my girl?"  
  
"She hurts." She opened her eyes.  
  
"I bet. You want some breakfast?" he asked, closing his book and sitting up.  
  
"Isn't is more like lunch?"  
  
"It's whatever you want it to be." He brushed a strand of wavy hair out of her face.  
  
"I'm craving some high calorie comfort food. You have any ice cream?"  
  
"Do you want Vanilla, Chocolate or Neapolitan?"  
  
"All of the above."  
  
Angel stood up and pulled on a pair of pants to be polite. "I'll be right back," he said, walking into the kitchen.  
  
"Bring beer too," she called after him.  
  
"I'm not giving you beer."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"What happened the last time you drank?"  
  
She looked down sheepishly. "I slept with Xander."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
When Angel returned with the ice cream, Buffy was leafing though The Inferno. "I'm out of Chocolate, but I found Cookie Dough Fudge Mint Chip."  
  
"Even better," she smiled, smiling. He dropped the cartons of ice cream on the bed and sat down next to her. He handed her a spoon.  
  
She sat up and opened the carton of Vanilla ice cream.  
  
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked, turning serious.  
  
"I knew you were going to bring this up. I need you to promise me that if I tell you, you wont go out and do anything crazy."  
  
"I promise."  
  
"Good." She took a deep breath. "Xander was drunk and we were. um."  
  
"Screwing?"  
  
She nodded. "He started to get violent and it hurt." She chewed on her bottom lip, nervously.  
  
"Did you tell him to stop?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Angel swallowed the ice cream in his mouth. "Did he?" he asked, already knowing the answer.  
  
She shook her head. "No. He told be I was being a baby and to shut up. He said he'd teach me to toughen up by 'fucking me up the ass'."  
  
"Did he?"  
  
"Do what he said he would? No."  
  
Angel let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.  
  
"I just shut up and let him finish."  
  
"Son of a bitch," Angel growled under his breath.  
  
"You said you wouldn't do anything stupid."  
  
"He raped you!"  
  
"I was the one who lead him on in the first place," she said, not wanting to believe it.  
  
"If you told him to stop and he didn't, he raped you." "Angel, you promised you wouldn't do anything."  
  
"I won't," he replied, staring at the spoon he held in his hand.  
  
"Good. Can we just stay in bed and eat ice cream all day?" she said, changing the subject.  
  
"Yeah, we can do that." He wrapped an arm around her and continued staring at the spoon. 


	15. In Our Darkest Hour

I'd like to dedicate this final chapter to my beta, Meredith. Thanks for all your hard work and sticking with me even through those sixteen page chapters. You're awesome!  
  
I'd also like to make a quick shout out to everyone who has sent me their reviews. You guys are what kept me going. This story has taken over a year to write and you guys were really patient, thanks! (  
  
Buffy lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Angel was sleeping next to her with his arm casually draped around her stomach. She ran her fingertips up and down his arm, watching goosebumps form on his skin. She hadn't gotten much sleep lately and her appearance confirmed it. Her eyes were red and she could swear she had bags under her bags. She knew that the instant she fell asleep her mind would replay the night Xander raped her. She hadn't seen him since that night, but he was still controlling her life. Because her dad was never home and she felt unsafe alone, she'd moved into Angel's apartment. She'd missed a lot of work, calling in sick every morning. Faith had even come over one day and made her tomato soup. She'd gone through Angel's movie collection and memorized the entire "American Beauty" script. She'd watched every episode of "Sopranos" on DVD. She'd discovered she could order pizza at 1 AM. She knew that reruns of "Saturday Night Live" were on Comedy Central at 3 AM and at two in the morning she'd watch "Golden Girls" on the Lifetime channel. She saw a man eat one hundred and fifty spiders and learned that 7up came before Sprite. She had a lot of time to think about things like her relationship with Angel. He'd closed off a part of himself from her and had become distant. He still loved her and he always would, this she knew, but something wasn't right. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she knew that their relationship had been somehow scarred.  
  
Angel mumbled incoherently in his sleep, interrupting her thoughts. She rolled over and glanced at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand. 6:45 AM. She slid out of bed, careful not to wake him, and made her way to the bathroom. Not bothering to close the door behind herself, she turned on the shower, giving the water time to warm up. She stripped off her pajamas and looked at her nude body in the mirror. Most of her bruises had faded and the rest were only barely visible. She still had a cut on her side, but it was slowly healing. Angel had insisted she needed stitches, but she refused to go to the hospital. She just put gauze and some medical tape on it, knowing it would leave a scar. She stepped behind the glass shower doors and let the warm water pour down on her.  
  
After about fifteen minutes, Angel walked into the bathroom wearing a pair of sweatpants. He grabbed a can of shaving cream and shook it, before lathering the cream on his face. "Did you sleep at all last night?" he asked, reaching for his razor.  
  
"More than I did the night before," she replied warily.  
  
"Maybe you should see a doctor. He might prescribe you some sleeping pills." He continued shaving, but turned away from the mirror to face her.  
  
She shut off the water. "Will you hand me a towel?"  
  
He grabbed the bath towel off its rack but held it out of her reach. "You need help. Have you thought about therapy?"  
  
"I'm not suicidal, Angel. I don't need some therapist telling me how special I am."  
  
He glared at her.  
  
"Fine, I'll try to see a doctor about those pills sometime this afternoon."  
  
He smiled and handed her the towel. "You want me to go with you? I have an extended break around one."  
  
She wrapped the towel around herself. "Can we go tonight? I was going to try to sleep a little this afternoon."  
  
Angel rinsed off his face and followed her into the bedroom. "Actually, Spike and I are going to a party that an old friend's having. You could come, if you feel up to it. Spike's driving, he'll pick us up around five and we're going to dinner first."  
  
"No, that's okay. There's a movie on HBO I wanted to see," she said, making up an excuse. She wasn't really in a party mood.  
  
"Maybe you and Cordy could go out. I saw her yesterday. She said something about Xander taking care of Tiffany for the weekend."  
  
"Yeah, maybe," she replied unenthusiastically as she slipped on a pair of apartment pants and a tank top. She grabbed a brush off the top of her dresser and sat on the edge of the bed brushing her hair.  
  
"Buffy, I'm worried about you. You haven't left the apartment since you moved in." He sat down beside her and took the brush out of her hand. He placed a kiss on her shoulder and brushed out her wet hair. "I just, I wish you would get out a little more."  
  
"Okay, mom," she said sarcastically.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"I'm going to the doctor today, aren't I?"  
  
"That's not what I mean." He got up and walked over to his closet where he pulled out his "Staff" shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He quickly slipped them on.  
  
"Maybe, I'll call her later, if it means you'll stop acting my dad."  
  
"I don't mean to-"  
  
"I know. You're just trying to help. Don't you have to go to work soon?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm leaving. I'll be back around one to give you a ride." He gave her a quick peck and left.  
  
Angel came back at one, just as he promised, and took Buffy to get a prescription for the sleeping pills. They went to the drug store to pick them up, then Angel dropped Buffy off at the apartment and went back to work. Later, he wasn't home for long before Spike came to pick him up. Now, Buffy sat on the couch flipping through the pages of the latest issue of "Cosmo". After reading the article about birth control for the third time, she picked up the phone and called Cordelia. After three rings, she picked up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Cordy, what are you doing tonight?"  
  
"My friend Harmony's having a party, but I don't know anyone with a car who's going. So I guess I'm not doing anything," she replied.  
  
"Angel left his car here. He won't be back until late tonight, so he'll never know if we took it. You'll have to drive though 'cause I don't have a license."  
  
"I don't know. This isn't any Nancy Drew book club. It's not really your kind of party."  
  
"I'll be fine. What time do you want to leave?"  
  
"I can be ready in thirty minutes. Are you at Angel's?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'll meet you there."  
  
Buffy hung up the phone and walked into the bedroom. He eye's gazed over the shirts in her closet. "Why do I have to be such a fucking Mary Jo?" she asked herself. She finally decided on a crimson camisole that she usually wore under thin sweaters. She grabbed the mini leather skirt and knee high boots from her date with Angel when she tried to prove that she wasn't too prude for him. She completed the outfit with a belly chain she had almost forgotten she owned. She left her hair down wild and loose. She quickly put on some dark red lipstick and lots of black eyeliner. Just as she finished, she heard the doorbell ring. "Coming," she called as she grabbed her purse and Angel's car keys.  
  
When Cordy and Buffy arrived at Harmony's apartment, there were cars parked all down the street. They parked two blocks away and walk. They had to push their way through people a crowd of people to get through the door. There were more kegs then Buffy had ever seen in her whole life.  
  
"I'm going to say 'hi' to Harm," Cordelia yelled over the loud music.  
  
Buffy nodded, not really sure what Cordy said.  
  
Cordelia walked off leaving her standing by herself. Buffy leaned against the wall and she could feel the music vibrating in against her.  
  
"Pretty lame party, huh?"  
  
She turned around to find a dark haired guy talking to her. "It's not really my kind of thing."  
  
"I'm Scott."  
  
"Buffy."  
  
"You want a drink or something?"  
  
"Yeah, sure," she replied with uncertainty.  
  
He returned with two red plastic cups in his hands. He handed one to her. "So, if this isn't your kind of party then why are you here?"  
  
"My friend really wanted to come. It's better than sitting at home all night."  
  
"Yeah, I'm friends with Harm's boyfriend, so I got dragged into going. It's good to know there's someone else whose idea of fun isn't watching a bunch of drunk guys throw up all over each other."  
  
Buffy laughed.  
  
"So Buffy, do you have a boyfriend?" he asked, not wanting to over step his bounds.  
  
"Sort of."  
  
"Sort of?"  
  
"We're going through some tough times right now, but we're working on it."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," he responded, not really sure what to say.  
  
They spent the rest of the night talking about Buffy's relationship with Angel. At first she felt awkward telling a complete stranger about something so personal, but with each drink she loosened up a little. After the fifth she eventually told him everything there was to possibly say. When four hours had gone by, she remembered she had to get Angel's car back to the apartment before he got home. She looked all over before she found Cordelia in the bedroom making out with someone she recognized from the Sunnydale High varsity football team. When she walked in on them, his hand was up Cordy's shirt and she was starting to unbutton his pants.  
  
She cleared her throat. "Sorry to interrupt, but we have to go," she said uncomfortably.  
  
Cordy looked up at her. "Just give me five minutes."  
  
Buffy could feel the blood rush to her face. "Um. okay, just. ah. hurry up." She quickly closed the door and went down stairs to get another drink.  
  
It was exactly five minutes later when Cordy met Buffy at the car. "Are you sure you should be driving?" Buffy asked her as Cordelia climbed into the drivers seat.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
"Cordy, you're pretty wasted. Maybe you should have someone else drive."  
  
"Like who? You? You don't even have a license and you're just as drunk as I am."  
  
"I could ask Scott to drive us."  
  
"Who's Scott?" she asked.  
  
"This guy I was talking to."  
  
"Buffy, never let some guy you just met at one of these parties take you home unless you want to be kidnapped. I drive like this all the time. It's totally safe," Cordy assured her.  
  
Buffy sat down in the passenger seat, ignoring the voice in her head telling her not to get in the car.  
  
Cordy pulled out of the parking space and sped through the lot. She made a sharp turn into the road and turned up the volume on the radio so the car vibrated to the beat of the music. "We should take Angel's car more often. He has a killer sound system! How much did he spend on it?" Cordelia yelled over the music.  
  
"I'm not sure, but he'll kill me if we do anything to mess it up."  
  
"You know what you need? You need to loosen up and live a little." She purposely swerved around the road. "So what's up with you and Angel? You guys are like a freaking roller coaster."  
  
"I'm not sure," Buffy said, still edgy. She glanced at the speedometer. They were going ninety in a forty-five zone. "Cordy, slow down a little."  
  
"You need to chill! I'm in total control, quit worrying." She took both hands off the wheel. "Look! No hands!" She said laughing.  
  
"Stop it," Buffy said laughing.  
  
The road took a sharp turn and they were heading straight towards a large tree. "Cordy, look out!" Buffy screamed. She frantically reached over for the wheel, but it was too late. The car smashed into the tree and everything went black.  
  
"Hey, you want to pass me another beer?" Angel said to Spike who was standing next to the cooler filled with drinks.  
  
Spike grabbed a can of Budweiser and tossed it to him.  
  
"Thanks, man. Where'd Dru go?" Angel asked him.  
  
"She was just here a second ago." Spike looked around the room. "Oh, bloody hell!" he said when he spotted her making out with another girl.  
  
Angel fell into a fit of uncontrollable laughter when he saw her.  
  
"I'll be back," Spike said as he walked off to go find his girlfriend.  
  
Just as Spike started to walk off Angel's cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He flipped it open. "Yeah?" he answered, distractedly.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. We took your car and we went to this party-" Buffy rushed between sobs.  
  
"Buff, slow down! What happened? Where are you?" Angel asked calmly as he covered one ear with his hand to block out the band so he could hear her better.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she cried.  
  
"It's okay," he said, attempting to sooth her. "What happened?"  
  
"There was an accident. Cordy was driving. We're at the hospital. You need to get down here."  
  
"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Just try to calm down." He hung up the phone and hurried to where Spike was trying to pry Dru apart from the girl. "I need your car. I have to go to the hospital."  
  
"Sure, mate." Spike handed him his car keys and Angel pushed his way through the hoards of people, trying to get outside.  
  
Angel rushed into the hospital's waiting room. When he got there Buffy was pacing back and forth. She was still wearing the outfit she had put on earlier for the party.  
  
"Angel! Thank God, you're here." She ran into his arms when she saw him.  
  
He placed tiny feather light kissed across her crown. "You're okay," he said in between kisses, more to himself than to her.  
  
He pulled out of her tight embrace, but still held on to her shoulders. "Tell me what happened."  
  
"Cordy's friend had a party and we borrowed your car. Oh God! I'm so sorry. I didn't think we'd be drinking. Please don't be mad." She started sobbing again.  
  
"I don't care about the damn car. What happened after that?"  
  
"We were driving home and we were drunk. I think I still am. I knew I shouldn't have let her drive, but she promised everything would be fine. We were screwing around and being stupid. She was speeding, pushing ninety. The road curved and I tried to grab the wheel, but there wasn't enough time and we hit a tree. I blacked out and when I woke up the paramedics were pulling Cordy out of the car. Her side of the car was crushed and she was trapped. She was unconscious and there was blood everywhere. I didn't even think someone had that much blood in them. Angel, I'm so worried. She still hasn't woken up and the doctors won't tell me anything because I'm not family." Even though Angel was holding on to her, her body was still shaking.  
  
He pulled her back into his arms and stroked her hair. "Don't worry, I'm sure she's going to be fine."  
  
The funeral was held on a sunny Thursday morning, outside in the Sunnydale cemetery. It was a warm day, but the kind of warm that sent chills down your spine. Xander, Tiffany, Cordelia's mom, Buffy, Angel and Willow were all given white roses to place on the casket after the sermon. After the funeral there was a reception that Mr. Giles held as a favor to Cordelia's mom who didn't feel she could deal with planning it herself. The casket was placed in Rupert's living room surrounded by yellow flowers, Cordelia's favorite color. Because she'd dropped out of high school after she found out she was pregnant, Cordelia didn't have a graduation picture on her casket, and they used her junior class picture instead.  
  
Buffy was sitting on the couch leafing through a photo album of Cordelia's life when her dad sat down next to her.  
  
"How are you doing?" he asked.  
  
"I thought when you we're drunk you weren't supposed to remember things so vividly."  
  
Mr. Giles gave her a sad smile. "You've been really brave Buffy. I'm proud of you." He touched her hair.  
  
"How can you be proud of me? I'm the reason she's dead in the first place," she said, still looking at the photo album.  
  
"Buffy, you can't blame yourself for what happened."  
  
"If I didn't give her the car, she'd still be alive. I knew she was drunk, but I let her drive anyway."  
  
"When your mom died, I kept thinking 'What if I never left her? She'd probably still be alive,' but I can't change what happened. Some people would tell you it was God's will."  
  
"There's no such thing as God," she said dryly.  
  
"If that's what you want to believe."  
  
Angel approached them. "Mr. Giles."  
  
Rupert stood up and put his hand on Angel's shoulder. "Take good care of her son," he said and left them alone.  
  
"Are you okay?" Angel asked her.  
  
"Why does everybody keep asking me that? I saw her die! How do you think I'm doing?"  
  
"I think you dad's right. I think you need to stop blaming yourself," he said softly.  
  
"I can't believe this! First my dad, now you! Alright, I'm listening, tell me how this is all a part of God's plan," she snapped angrily.  
  
"It's not. I don't understand death Buffy and I'm not going to try to make up bogus explanation, but you're never going to be able to move on if you keep blaming yourself. Things happen that are out of your control and there's nothing you can do about it. Cordelia will have a small place in your heart that no one else can touch. In a way, she'll become a small part of you, but first you have to stop blaming yourself and let her in."  
  
She took the pictures off her lap and stood up to hug him. "When did you become such an expert on death?" Her voice was muffled by his tux.  
  
"I'm an orphan. I've lost a lot of people. We can leave whenever you want to."  
  
"No. There's someone I need to talk to first." She let go of him and walked off.  
  
Xander was sitting on the floor of the family room playing with Tiffany. Buffy sat down next to them. "Am I interrupting something?"  
  
Xander brought his gaze up from the baby to her. "You're the last person I expect to be talking to me right now."  
  
"I forgive you, you know."  
  
"How can you?" he asked her, confused.  
  
"I just can. Besides, you're going to need all the help you can get. It's going to be hard, raising a baby all by yourself."  
  
"Your mom did it and you turned out to be the perfect child from a parent's point of view."  
  
"Believe me, I'm not the perfect child. I'm a spoiled brat."  
  
"I can't argue with that."  
  
She hit him playfully before turning serious again. "My mom didn't have me when she was eighteen."  
  
"I know it's going to be hard, but I'm glad I have Tiffany. Now I'll always have Cordy with me. Every time I look into Tiff's eyes, I see a little bit of Cordy smiling back at me. She always pretended she hated being a mother, but really, she wouldn't trade the world for it. I just wish Tiff had the chance to see what a wonderful woman her mom was." He smiled as he watched Tiffany throw her teething ring across the floor and let out a tiny giggle as she watched it bounce.  
  
"She knows."  
  
"She's four months old. I don't even think she remembers what happened five minutes ago."  
  
"Mothers and daughters have a weird connection. I can't explain it, but she knows."  
  
Xander reached out and picked the teething ring up off the floor and put it in the diaper bag. He put the bag over his shoulder and picked up Tiffany. "I have to change her, then I think we're going home. I can't stay here much longer."  
  
"If you ever need a babysitter, you know where to find me," she said as she stood up.  
  
"Tell Angel I'm sorry," he said before turning away.  
  
She smiled and nodded.  
  
Angel was waiting outside for her by his rental car. "Hey," he said when she walked towards him.  
  
"Sorry that took so long."  
  
"No problem. You want to go get lunch or something?"  
  
"I'm not really hungry."  
  
"Okay, we can just go home then," he said as he walked around the car to get into the driver's seat.  
  
"Actually Angel, can we take a walk? There's something we need to talk about." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear nervously.  
  
"Yeah sure, if that's what you want." He walked back around the car and took her hand as they started to stroll down the sidewalk.  
  
"A few minutes before the accident, Cordelia said something that I can't stop thinking about. She said you and I were a roller coaster and she was right. I don't know how much longer I can ride."  
  
"I've been thinking about this a lot too," he admitted.  
  
"Ever since Xander, something's missing and I can't pin point it, but it doesn't feel right." She paused, terrified by the reality of how he would respond to what she would say next. "I want to know where you see us in the future."  
  
Angel didn't say anything for a while. He didn't want to admit the truth. "I don't."  
  
She stopped walking turned around to face her. "What's happening to us?" She was fighting tears.  
  
"Do you really want me to answer that?" he asked. He didn't want to hear the answer coming from his mouth.  
  
"I want you to lie to me."  
  
"We're going to be fine." He wrapped his arm around her and they continued walking.  
  
Epilogue:  
  
Angel cleaned out his storage room and transformed it into Buffy's bedroom. They had decided to see other people, but stay roommates. Buffy was single but Angel resorted back to his old ways, sleeping around, but never with anyone of any importance. Buffy volunteered to start visiting schools in Cordelia's honor, telling of the dangers of drunk driving. In September, Buffy started college at UC Sunnydale, where Angel began his junior year. Xander got a job working at the local Wal-Mart and Buffy tried to help him out by babysitting Tiffany as much as possible when he was working. When school started her schedule didn't allow her much time for childcare. Cordelia's mom decided she wanted to be involved in her granddaughter's life and agreed to baby-sit Tiffany during the day while Xander was at work. Willow and Oz did eventually sleep together and he became her first long-term relationship, but they broke up after his band went on tour. Willow had trouble coping with the idea that Oz had groupies.  
  
Author's note: It's finally finished! I'm probably going to take a short break and write stand alones for a while, but if you're interested in a sequel, tell me. I have a few ideas, but nothing big so email me your ideas or tell me in a review. As always, feedback is much appreciated. midnitecowgirl710@hotmail.com 


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